Heal Communication Rifts and Strengthen Love
Have you ever asked your self ‘how did I get here?’ or ‘why can’t we get past this?’
Relationships can be tough, particularly the romantic kind. I once used the story of the girl with a curl in the middle of her forehead to describe my relationship. When it was good it was very very good but when it was bad it was horrid. We were locked in a pattern of poor communication and misunderstanding. It was a never-ending story. We’d argue, let things simmer, find our smiles. Until next time, and then we’d argue again.
Focus on what’s right in Your Relationship, rather than what’s wrong.
That was before we took StrengthsFinder and learned our strengths. Today we have a new set of tools to help us navigate the twists and turns of relationships. As we learned to heal our relationship, we created powerful tools to help other couples rediscover that connection spark.
Poor Communication Ruins Relationships
Communication killers go beyond men are from Mars women are from Venus problems. You love each other, you know you’re from the same planet but you seem to be talking different languages. You find yourself scrambling to be heard. He doesn’t understand and she doesn’t accept. It seems like no one is listening.
You are not alone. Research by relationship expert John Gottman suggests there are four communication patterns that signal relationship doom;
The daily stresses of life exacerbate each problem and at the very moment you need to be supporting each other, you find yourself silent and stewing.
You know there is a better way.
Develop Stronger Communication
A strengths based approach encourages you to focus on what’s right in each other rather picking at what’s wrong. Instead of criticising, being defensive, showing contempt or stonewalling, you’ll recognise your toxic triggers and choose more resourceful communication patterns.
I like to call this being the author of your story. Rather than being stuck in the drama cycle, rather than being mired in the mud of ‘he said / she said’ events, rather than being a character locked on a page, you rise above the plot line and and see the full story. From this vantage point you can act, rather than react.
This is not therapy. It’s coaching. Coaching does not assign blame or find fault. Instead it focuses on what works. You develop Talents into Strengths and move toward solutions. Coaching is forward looking and outcomes based. It’s an opportunity to recognise your strengths and see your stories from an objective point of view. As coaches, we’ll help you see what’s working in your relationship and notice your blind spots. We offer tools and strategies. However, the actions are yours to take. You set the objectives, you determine the direction and you take the steps.
Are you willing to accept responsibility for yourself and your relationship? Would you like to know more about yourself and your partner. Would you like to understand those niggling behaviour patterns and recognise the motivations and fears beneath them?
Our unique approach combines mindfulness, story structure and strengths to help couples focus on what is working for them. Rather than scrambling to keep your head above water you’ll find a way forward.
Nicole is a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach and Trained meditation teacher based in Sydney. She helps couples find their true path and connect to meaningful relationships. Talk to her today and learn how to improve your communication skills and direct your innate patterns of thought, feeling and behaviour toward better relationships. We can arrange face to face consultations on the Gold Coast or Sydney. Alternatively ask about our Zoom sessions.
Call today to arrange your complimentary introduction to Relationships Strengths coaching session.
m: 0425 209 008 e: email@example.com
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