One of the most universal experiences of adolescence is feeling isolated. It is heart wrenching the number of times I hear the words “I’m lonely” or “I feel alone”. Yet this is not a ‘feature’ peculiar to today’s world, rather it is one which has dominated teenager’s lives for many years.
As a teenager myself, I remember listening to ‘Father Jim’ on 2SM radio. This was a ‘talk back’ show which began around 9pm. Simon and Garfunkel’s song “Sounds of Silence” preceded the programme and to this day, whenever I hear that song, I think of Father Jim and the teenagers who called.
Lying safely tucked in my bed I would listen religiously, every Sunday night, as teenagers shared their stories across the radio waves. Thinking back now, I realise they would call in to share intimate details of their lives because they wanted to be heard, they wanted to be understood and they did not want to be alone. Listening to my contemporaries and feeling their pain I realised no matter how popular a person may be or how many friends they have, we can all feel misunderstood and alone at various times in our life.
Interestingly, today’s teenagers still reach out across the ‘waves’ all be it the electronic variety. The internet in this sense has been both a blessing and a curse. It has allowed teenagers to remain connected to friends and acquaintances, but it has also exposed them to strangers who wrap themselves in a cloak of friendship. The scary part is, these malevolent forces have access to us at the times we are most vulnerable; the times when we are reaching out, the time when we are seeking. The problem of cyber bullying is recognised by police, schools and community groups as a dangerous threat which must be treated seriously.
One way to arrest this insidious force is to equip ourselves with a loneliness antidote. To some acquiring friends seems like a solid solution, however this still places power in the hands of others. Perhaps a more potent remedy is developing faith in ourselves; faith, acceptance and the self confidence to realise we can choose how to act and react. When we are comfortable in our own skin, we are less likely to hunger for the positive affirmations of others in order to feel wanted and loved. We do not need to seek.