Is This MyStory

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When Mindfulness is Not Enough

May 7, 2017 By Nicole Feledy

Mindfulness practice strengthens our ability to cope with life’s challenges. But what happens when you find yourself in the midst of an event or life changing situation that was beyond your control? 

Mindfulness exercises can help. We can bring attention to the breath, breathe from the tummy (rather than the chest), witness the physical sensations in the body and recognise the emotional and thought patterns associated with them. We can be deliberate, tune into self talk and breathe through the sensations.

But what if the voices keep coming back? How do you manage anxiety when in the grip of one of those cyclic self deprecating self talk storms. You know, those violent clashes between head and heart where you keep telling yourself ‘I should know better’, ‘I should have done it differently’, or ‘why is this happening to me’. You breathe, you sit in the discomfort and the ache is overwhelming. Your heart leaps from your chest in a desperate  attempt to escape the chamber holding it captive. Your skin crawls because it feels like a billion insects have taken residence beneath it.  Your mind is a swirling vortex where nothing seems safe. 

Breathe you say to yourself. Breathe from the tummy. Ride it out. 

But, even as the storm subsides, a dull ache remains. In the aftermath, the devastation is obvious. A new storm threatens as you realise all the work ahead just to pick yourself up and move through the day. 

What now?

This is where we need more than mindfulness. Mindfulness is a beginning. Used regularly it builds the mental fitness to keep us at the top of our game. It helps maintain a healthy heart mind connection. However, life can throw us extreme events. Life shattering, split the ground beneath your feet moments. Although mindfulness training can halt a complete breakdown, it may not be enough.

In these times, I have found solace in strengths and the techniques of narrative. I remind myself to ask, 

  • ‘Is this my story?’
  • “Is this what I want my story to be?’ 
  • ‘What do I need to write to move me through to the next phase of the narrative – to the resolution?’

Then I act. I personify my talents and create a plan for moving forward. The opportunity to be creative brings me a measure of peace. I journal. I write for an audience and I share my story. I look for it to be reflected back to me – I place it where it will be evaluated. I want to see what it looks like from the outside as an objective experience. Here is where I learn, grow and contribute.

However, the next step is harder still. I have to actually do what I have written. This is where the support of friends and family is a life line. A hug, a word of acceptance, recognition for an accomplishment. This is a time to  ask for help and be open to receiving it.

Living a mindful strengths based narrative is a choice. It offers a way forward. However it can not remain a mental activity. It requires active participation in life. 

Choose how to live again.

 

Nicole is a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, Trained meditation teacher and Narrative Coach, based in Sydney. She helps people find their true path and connect to meaningful relationships. Talk to her today and learn how to unlock your innate talents. Develop the relaxation and mindfulness habits that allow you to manage your mind. If you’d like to know more about improving your communication skills and using your innate patterns of thought, feeling and behaviour, contact Nicole today. We can arrange face to face consultations on the Gold Coast or Sydney. Alternatively ask about our Zoom sessions.  

Call today to arrange your complimentary introduction to Strengths coaching session.

m: 0425 209 008   e: nicole@isthismystory.com

 

Welcome to a World of Expression

Focus | Engage | Inspire

Filed Under: Meditation and Mindfulness, Self Esteem Tagged With: impact of self talk, manage anxiety, mindful strengths based narrative, When mindfulness is not enough

How to Increase Student Engagement

February 20, 2017 By Nicole Feledy

Teachers are busy. They are busy building learning opportunities for students. Teachers plan, execute and reflect. They want to create engaging environments where students learn. It doesn’t always work. A recent report published by the Grattan Institute, suggests up to 40% of school students in Australia may be unproductive in any given year.

Unproductive behaviours such as idle chatter, avoiding work and being inattentive in class are signs of a disengaged student and these behaviours are costing our kids their education. However many aren’t even aware of the price they’re paying. All a disengaged child sees is a boring class that’s too easy, too difficult or not relevant and they’d rather be somewhere else. 

It can be different

Students are busy. They’re busy growing. Children are learning who they are, where they belong and which of their contributions are valued. Along the way, they’re also gathering content knowledge and skills. Subjects such as English and History may seem irrelevant to a student focused on a degree in Biochemistry. Yet these subjects offer communication and thinking skills to study the behaviour of cells and nature of matter. Similarly, Physics and Economics may seem immaterial to a student focused on becoming a pro athlete, musician or master builder. However these subjects offer principles and processes to recognise patterns and plan for the future. 

The key is perspective

Teachers and students can get busy building mindful connections. I’m using the word busy deliberately. Often when reading an article about how to increase student engagement we feel the weight of yet another ‘thing to do’ burden. Teacher’s wonder what else will be lumped on their plate. 

  • What can I do in my already busy day. 
  • How will I find the time for more work? 
  • Where can I find time to learn another new practice to boost my students’ engagement?

I hear you

Time is a precious commodity. We need to be mindful of how we spend it. This applies to both teacher and student. Generally, we’re happier when we’re devoting time to something we find valuable. If we’re mindful, we’re more likely to use time wisely because we’re aware of what we’re doing. The act of being mindful takes no extra time. It is simply a different way of being aware. Right now, I’m suggesting we can be mindful of internal motivations and use this information to BE engaged. 

Think about this for a moment. Teachers and students can be mindful of their perspectives and in doing so carve time into busy schedules. The ideas I’m about to share take no extra time, they simply ask you to consider a different perspective.

What does Engagement look like?

Students are more engaged when 

  •  Learning is meaningful – students see how the learning is relevant to themselves and their lives
  • Learning is achievable – students believe they can successfully complete a task or understand a concept
  • Learning is autonomous and supported – students feel as though they have choice and a measure of control over their learning while also knowing help is available.
  • Learning is collaborative – students feel as though they are connected to ideas and people beyond themselves. They see their work has value and is valued.
  • Learning leads to mastery – students recognise learning means more than a grade on page. They see the progression of their learning and opportunities that result from that progression.

Gallup have a student poll that measures these areas. They ask key questions to determine the extent to which a student feels their needs are met. These questions focus on value, safety and recognition. For example;

  1. I have a best friend at school
  2. I feel safe at school
  3. I have an opportunity to do what I do best each day
  4. I have at least one teacher who excites me about my future

If you look at the relationship between these questions and the factors required for student engagement it becomes obvious, the more a student can answer yes to questions like these, the more likely they are to feel engaged. 

Time for a Mindful Strengths-Based approach

Now I’ve reached the crux of this post. We can use mindful practice to increase student engagement without adding any extra time burdens. Teachers can be mindfully aware of their talents and the talents of their students. Student can be mindfully aware of their talents and the talents of their classmates (and teachers). In this deliberate understanding, connections are made. Teachers know what each student needs and contributes. Students know what they need and contribute. An emphasis on recognising needs and contributions provides an environment where each person feels safe, understood and valued. This is an environment where learning thrives. When you know what you and others need, it is easier to recognise the relevance in learning because you feel valued, give value and see how collaborative relationships contribute to life. Collaborative learning is possible because everyone is using a shared vocabulary that fosters recognition of talent. Each person knows the value they bring to a project and talents are shared for group success. Students have autonomy in their learning because everyone realises there are different ways to reach the same successful outcome. 

The Key is Strengths, The Practice is Mindfulness, The Process is a Story

Mindfulness practice helps a person recognise the links between their thoughts, emotions and behaviours. This recognition helps them develop talents into strengths that can be consistently, productively and successful applied. Experiences of success, build stories of success and as these stories are shared, connections are made. When a school adopts a mindful, strengths-based narrative, they put in place a system where each student and teacher can be part of the creation of a wider experience library. This gives a sense of belonging and ownership. Students and teachers feel part of a community and this creates a space for engagement. 

A useful start is Gallup’s StrengthsQuest. This is an online assessment administered by Gallup that helps teachers and students identify their core talents. The next step is to learn how to mindfully apply those talents in teaching and learning. There are many helpful resources on the StrengthsQuest page  however, if you would like a personalised approach that addresses your specific needs you may like to speak with a qualified coach and trainer. I’d love to be of service.

If you would like to implement a mindful strengths-based narrative in your classroom or school, contact Nicole to learn how. She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, Trained Meditation and Mindfulness teacher and has more than 17 years classroom experience as a Secondary School English Teacher. Nicole offers 1:1 coaching, group workshops and interactive seminar presentations. She can tailor a package to meet the specific needs of you and your school. Contact Nicole today;

e: nicole@isthismystory.com  m: 0425 209 008

Welcome to a World of Expression

Focus | Engage | Inspire

Filed Under: Blog, Learning, Teaching Tagged With: create engaging learning environments, How to increase student engagement, mindful strengths based narrative

Nicole Shares Leadership Talents

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPG6tRrUC3I

Nicole Talks Connectedness

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d73blYYRu_U&list=PLxDaK7wIyw947k6hxvoPa4-DYMbgJZYNt&index=1

Is This MyStory – Guided Meditation

https://isthismystory.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/ITMSMeditation.mp3

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