Is This MyStory

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What Makes a Good Story Great?

June 5, 2017 By Nicole Feledy

What do you remember from high school English? 

Maybe you were one of the people sitting at the back of the classroom questioning when you’d ever use any of this. However, somewhere between Romeo’s love for Juliet and Atticus reminding Scout to walk in another person’s shoes, you may have recognised how stories build connection. This is why stories are favoured in marketing. Stories sell. However beyond the hype, we can use stories to connect with ourself and share a sense of purpose. 

The Art of Storytelling 

You can master the basic aspects of a good story. Knowing your audience, understanding the context, offering a clear message that resonates with the audience and choosing an appropriate communication channel, is all that’s required. 

To create a great story you need to; 

  • know your audience
  • be clear about your message 
  • choose the best way to convey your ideas

Put a little more simply, your story will register with people when audience, context and purpose align. 

Great stories engage the reader because they involve the reader. They create a connection between the hero and the audience. Great stories absorb our attention and encourage us to participate in adventures and explorations we may never have the opportunity to experience (and may not want to) in real life.  

Are you willing to try writing your own story?

First, set aside any fears or doubts you may have been holding over from your school days. Ask yourself:

  • Who is my audience?
  • What is my purpose?
  • Where will I share the message?
  • Why have I answered these questions this way?

Remember a great story builds tension and creates connection Your story needs;

  • A great hero – a relatable character who is flawed yet lovable
  • A helper or guide – a character who offers support, wisdom or direction
  • A problem – a challenge the hero must overcome, something that stands in the way for where they are now and where the want to be.

Great stories take the audience on a journey from where they are now, to where they’d like to be. It is this movement along a plotted path that offers opportunity to play, laugh, cry, vent and ponder. This is where the magic of connection happens. 

A good storyteller understands the struggles their audience face. The narrator weaves language and events to create an emotional and cognitive connection. The storyteller engages with the audience’s deepest fears and forces a confrontation. But the narrator doesn’t leave their audience in pain. Instead, they offer solace, comfort and inspiration. 

Imagine writing the story of your life. How would you move through the challenge and find the reward? Who are the guides along your way?

The minute you share your story with another, it grows. Your story inspires other people’s stories. It’s as if a story can take on a life of its own. Your audience interprets the story through their funnels and filters. They flavor your words with their experiences. This is the magic of story. Stories connect us through creating new meaning. We share, we grow and we connect our purpose to the purpose of others. The more aligned our stories, the more connected our purpose. This connected sense of purpose builds a community.

 

If you would like to know more about creating engaging stories and the power of story in personal and professional development, join one of our Storyboarding circles. These online programs are conducted in small groups over a four week period. New sessions are starting this month. 

Sessions are 90 minutes in duration and the complete program are now only $120.00 (includes a Gallup Strengths Quest code and an e-manual). 

Is This MyStory provides the tools to feel better about yourself and your decisions. If you want to be heard, if you’re not achieving your goals, if you want more from life. Contact us today to book a free consultation.

m: 0425 209 008   e: nicole@isthismystory.com

 

Welcome to a World of Expression

Focus | Engage | Inspire

Filed Under: Blog, Powerful stories Tagged With: engaging stories, good storyteller, great stories, What makes a good story great

Using Stories in Personal and Professional Development

January 5, 2017 By Nicole Feledy

We tell ourselves stories all the time. We tell stories in an attempt to make sense of our world. We tell stories about our life and what we deserve. We tell stories to explain our actions. Yet how often do you consciously examine the stories you tell and how effectively do you evaluate the stories you see and hear? 

After years of teaching and training I’ve come to believe the most powerful aspect of stories are not necessarily their literary merit, but rather the opportunity to learn. Stories may be seen as life’s metaphors. Deliberate attention to the way a story is told can be the study of life experiences. Narrative is a vehicle for emotional intelligence because it provides an opportunity for social, emotional learning.

Stories offer entrance to a new world. We participate from a protected position so that, when a character learns, we learn. As we analyse the characters in a story and critically evaluate the strategies they use to overcome problems, we learn new perspectives of our own situations. We may also see innovative solutions. In other words, deliberate attention to story offers an opportunity to practise the evaluative skills that can help us understand the stories of our self talk. We recognise our choices have consequences and we are responsible for our actions.

Find the message
Think about a children’s movie. For example Disney’s re-make of Cinderella or the hugely successful Frozen. Why are they so popular? Perhaps it is because their message is simple, beautifully presented and light hearted. They feel good. They have recurring themes and motifs that build emotional connection through a simple message. 

“Have courage and Be Kind”

“Let it go”.

These movies use repetition, symbols and recurring metaphor. Disney is a master storyteller.  There are many storytellers who are very clever at engaging emotion and sharing a message. 

  1. Which movie, TV show or book calls to you? Why? 
  2. How does this relate to the way you like to live your life?
  3. What can you learn from this and other films, shows or books you enjoy?

Your answer to these questions reveals tangible ideas about your perspectives and values.  These perspectives offer clues about your perception of your place within your Story. 

Are you where you want and need to be? 

What will it take to be where you need to be?

Be Intentional in Your Use of Language
The language you use when recounting an event will also help you determine where you stand. Awareness of how language works highlights patterns in self-talk. Understanding language helps a person evaluate their inner world. This helps you function more effectively in your outer world. Symbols, metaphor and personification help you share complex ideas in simpler terms. Foreshadowing establishes directional markers that point toward a predetermined goal. 

  1. What metaphors or analogies do you use? 
  2. How do you foreshadow what is to come?
  3. Do you use words with positive, neutral or negative connotation?

What Story Will You Tell?
You may like to think of it this way, the stories you tell yourselves have the power to limit or enrich your life. They key is to identify which stories foster growth and development and which may be limiting you. The next step is to actively and deliberately phrase your story the way you want it to be.

When you change your story, you change your life.

Finally, remember, the core difference between a recount and a narrative is the Complication. A recount provides a sequence of events, a story weaves a shared experience by showing how a character overcomes a challenge. When you recognise the complication has a resolution, you find yourself with a plan for moving through life’s challenges. Rather than being stuck in a drama cycle, you have the strength to move through to your goal, dream or destination.

If you would like to know more about the intentional use of use of narrative please contact Nicole to learn more about our Storyboarding courses or Mindful Narrative of Strengths Coaching. You may even like to participate in our inaugural Is This MyStory Life Creation Course.

Call today to arrange a complimentary introductory session.

m: 0425 209 008   e: nicole@isthismystory.com

Welcome to a World of Expression

Focus | Engage | Inspire

Filed Under: Blog, Powerful stories, Strengths Coaching Tagged With: intentional use of narrative, narrative coaching, narrative of emotional intelligence, Using Stories in Personal and Professional Development

Finding a Strategic Connection to Childhood Stories

November 19, 2016 By Nicole Feledy

BoWhen I was 14 my parents swapped a car for a horse. The car was a dirty brown, early 1970s Holden we affectionately called Erg worm. The horse was a 14.3 hands high Pinto named Bo. 

Dad was starting a new job that gave him a company car. I met Bo at the local riding school and fell in love. The operators of the riding school needed a vehicle for their daughter.

It was a perfect match. 

My parents made the connection and gave me an opportunity to live a dream. It came with responsibility. They paid for Bo’s feed and I paid for the paddock. I cared for him, held a part time job and maintained high grades. I learnt resilience, accountability and to be resourceful. I experienced freedom, companionship and the sheer delight of being in nature.

Bo was My Best Friend
He’d been schooled as a stock horse but sold to a riding school and failed at both. He was cheeky and independent. He’d take the bit, shy at shadows and spin on dime if he wanted to go a different direction. Yet, he was always considerate. He allowed room for my legs when we passed a tree. He’d nuzzle close when I was worried or upset. If I needed time to think, he kept us on track. He also enabled my sense of adventure.

Have you every just taken a path just to see where it will lead?

That was what my childhood was like. Bo was a willing accomplice. Many times we took a trail, simply to see where it went. We discovered amazing places – beautiful wonders, far from the main trail. These were remote spaces few else saw. It was the early 1980s. There were no mobile phones, no GPS, no way of knowing exactly where we were. All we knew were the rough boundary of the National Park. 

Although we were often lost, we always found our way back to the main track. If a side path beckoned, I wanted to be on it. I was inspired by what may be around the corner. Bo probably wanted a quicker way home. 

If a voice of reason intruded, 

“are you sure about this” 

”is this a waste of time?” 

It was silenced. 

Curiosity and wonder were stronger than the internal nay sayer. All that was important was being alive and doing what we were born to do. 

Then I Grew Up
I stopped riding and swapped stirrups for pedals. I bought a car and buried myself in the job of being an adult. Bo lived his days in peace, retired in the country. I immersed myself in the world of work. The expectations and responsibility of career and family weighed heavily. I nearly forgot who I was. 

Nearly,  but not quite.

You see, the world has a funny way of reminding you who you are. Random moments that inspire a hint of memory. I was teaching students how to develop their critical thinking skills and in the process, connected to my own. The catalytic moment was teaching Robert Frost’s poem, The Road Not Taken. While guiding students through the nuance of each word, I realised, I wanted to take the road less traveled. Being a teacher of literature was not enough. I wanted to help people connect with their stories. 

Then, I took the Clifton Strengths Finder and found clarity. I discovered my talents and it all made perfect sense. My top two talents are Strategic and Connectedness. 

Strategic
According to Gallup Strategic describes the ability to recognise patterns. People high in Strategic are aware of the multiple options that lead from one place to another. They quickly discard alternatives that won’t work. They find the best way through a course of action to a chosen destination. Even if they don’t know specific details, they’re confident they can make the necessary adjustments along the way. All they need is the start point and the end point to quickly formulate a plan. 

Connectedness
Gallup refer to Connectedness as the ability to recognise the greater forces beyond what’s immediately seen or felt. People high in Connectedness intuit the things that unite us. They see, hear and feel the connections between people, places and things. They’re aware of the big picture and build bridges to span ideas, feelings and behaviours. 

Recognising a Strategic Connection
As Bo and I travelled the trails of Davidson National Park my sense that there was a higher purpose gave me the courage to take different tracks. I didn’t know where they led. However I knew why I was in the bush. It was here I felt most alive. I knew where I’d come from and I knew where I were going. We explored the less travelled trails because we knew they led to the most beautiful places.

It was these childhood adventures that forged my sense of identity. As a teenager, I was connected to the natural world. I lived in the bush and felt a deep link through my horse. He was a bridge between my physical and inner worlds. Bo was a tangible friend and an intangible symbol of freedom and choice. The adventures we shared sharpened my ability to find the path. It didn’t matter if I couldn’t see the complete trail, I knew I could run scenarios in my mind, calculate parameters, account for the obstacles and trusted the path would get me there.

Sunlit waterBo was just over 30 when he passed – quite old for a horse. However, each evening I feel his presence. I sit at my desk. The sun settles over bush covered hills. It’s warmth nuzzles my arm as my fingers ride the key board. I look across the river and see trails of light shying across the water. I know he is close. My imagination, my stories, my resilience and my faith were strengthened by the experiences we shared.

My Parents Swapped a Car for a Horse
My parents swapped a car for a horse and in doing so gave me so much more than they ever imagined. They gave me access to the power of choice. They gave me a future filled with possibility. I discovered how to follow my dreams even when the path ahead was covered in scrub. They gave me the opportunity to develop my talents. My childhood taught me how to find my own way and “take the road less traveled”. I learnt to recognise my path and finish what I start. It taught me to enjoy the journey and be confident. I know “way leads on to way” and it is on these less traveled paths I’ll find my treasure.

What did your childhood teach you?

I ask this to encourage you to reflect on the stories of your past. You may discover a path to your self. In accessing childhood stories of wonder and curiosity, you leave behind the restrictions imposed by other people’s stories. Recognising the stories of your childhood may help you find internal inspiration.

If you’d like to become mindfully aware of your stories and move from talent to strength, contact Nicole. We offer a mindful approach to a strength based narrative. Nicole coaches you through the process of identifying your stories and distinguishing the ones that serve you from the ones that have been limiting you. We can arrange face to face coaching on the Gold Coast or in Sydney. Alternatively ask about our Skype sessions.

Call now to arrange a complimentary introduction to strengths coaching.

m: 0425 209 008 e: nicole@isthismystory.com

Welcome to a World of Expression

Focus | Engage | Inspire

 

Filed Under: Blog, Powerful stories, Strengths Coaching Tagged With: Coaching Gold Coast, Mindful based strengths coaching, Strengths Coaching Gold Coast, swap a car for a horse

Take the Lead – Recognise the Need to Accept Personal Responsibility

January 18, 2011 By Nicole Feledy

Stories provide so much more than simple entertainment. They offer relief, respite and safe experiences. Stories propose alternative perspectives and unlock secret worlds. This is why stories are important in our lives. The key is to approach them both mindfully and critically. The reward is greater insight and awareness. Recently I watched the movie Take the Lead staring Antonio Banderas and based on the true story of Pierre Dulaine. This inspirational teacher recognised that in learning how to dance (ballroom), individuals also learn teamwork, dignity and respect.

My favourite part in the clip below occurs when Dulaine (Banderas) explains,  “The man proposes the step and it is the women’s choice to accept” Here, simply put, is the idea that we make our own choices. Understanding this concept is one of the most important steps in moving from a ‘victim’ mentality to position of strength.

In most instances when you make the decision to take the lead, you also recognise the need to accept personal responsibility. In fact, it could be suggested that an important aspect of developing a secure sense of Self involves, taking the lead, taking charge and accepting that we are accountable for our own actions. This point is clearly conveyed in the movie. Don’t just take my word for it, watch the movie and see what you think. Remember, although you watch the movie to enjoy it, you can also digest its power.

Stories have the power to inspire, motivate and create magic, but you need to make the choice, to consciously feel the energy.  

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84JTNGVaSJE&feature=related[/youtube]

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Filed Under: Powerful stories, Self Esteem Tagged With: accept personal responsibility, Pierre Dulaine, take the lead

Nicole Shares Leadership Talents

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPG6tRrUC3I

Nicole Talks Connectedness

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d73blYYRu_U&list=PLxDaK7wIyw947k6hxvoPa4-DYMbgJZYNt&index=1

Is This MyStory – Guided Meditation

https://isthismystory.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/ITMSMeditation.mp3

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