Is This MyStory

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What Determines Student Success?

May 13, 2012 By Nicole Feledy

If asked to search for an answer to the question; what is the most reliable determinant of a student’s future success, where would you look? Would you, go to google, read a book, question your teachers, ask your parents, or chat with friends?

Last week I attended a course, based on the Positive Psychology research of Martin Seligman. The facilitator, Dr Toni Noble, demonstrated the benefits of positive psychology practices in the classroom. This highly practical course provided participants with useful strategies that have direct relevance in the classroom. It was clear to all of us, that the research supported what we already knew – a student’s overall feeling of ‘wellness’ has a direct impact on their success at school. Put simply, happy students, who feel valued and supported by the school community are more likely to succeed than students who feel marginalised and lonely.

The question then becomes – how do we support and nurture young people so they may experience wellness rather than dis-ease? Professional development courses which provide teachers with functional, tangible tools to help young people recognise emotions and foster cooperative social behaviours, are a positive start. Of course we need to provide schools which are a safe haven filled with encouragement and opportunity.

However equally important is a student’s choice to participate. In fact, as individuals within a school and wider community, we need to be mindful of mindset. We need to ask ourself  – how willing are we to take responsibility for our own feelings and behaviours? We need to encourage young people to do the same.

Therefore as useful as google, books, teachers, parents and friends may be, when we want to search for answers, perhaps it is equally important to ask questions of ourself.

So maybe what I should have asked at the beginning of this post was… have you ever asked yourself, what determines MY success?

If I were to answer this question, I would reply, ME.

How will you respond?

Filed Under: Blog, Learning, Self Esteem Tagged With: students future success, take responsibility, What determines student success

I’m Not Like Everyone Else

April 22, 2012 By Nicole Feledy

Apparently, “we now expect everyone to take photographs all the time” Really? Dom Knight in his article ‘I Hate Instragram’ seems to think so.

I guess that means, I am not like everyone else.

I admit, as Knight points out, the one billion dollars paid by Facebook to Instragram suggests snapping photos on   smart phones is incredibly popular. Nevertheless, I question Knight’s combination of personal language and  hyperbole.

Who is the we Knight refers to? Does everyone take photos all the time?

Clearly I sit in isolation, because, as much as I enjoy using my camera to record special moments, I do not feel compelled to turn  paparazzi at the drop of a hat, tissue or yawn… Obviously I am not part of the ‘everyone’ group – I am not part of the cool, hip, or ‘in’ crowd (perhaps I am showing my age).

Maybe, if I was less confident in myself, I would be compelled to grab my phone and snap the dog before a wave of outcast fear overwhelmed me. Thankfully, I don’t. Instead I chuckle, shake my head and reach for my computer. I am grateful to be an individual who chooses her own ‘all the time’ actions.

Articles such as Knight’s fuel my quest to share the power of critical literacy. I believe (and here it is important to note the use of the word ‘I’ and think carefully about its use) critical literacy promotes self esteem. As a critically literate person, I can read an article such as the one written by Knight and rather than feeling deficient for not following ‘everyone’ behavioural patterns, I recognise the use of persuasive language, appreciate the humour, and feel content.

Again, consider my use of language; the word ‘content’ is used deliberately. Hopefully you can predict why. I use the word content to demonstrate a lack of aggression hurled toward another person’s opinion. I feel content to be an individual, I feel content to read opinions different to mine. I do not feel the need to debase another to argue my case. True, I may look for inconsistent argument, I may question use of language, but I am content to live with a difference of opinion. I attribute this to a strong sense of who I am. Critical literacy gives me this self confidence.

You may be wondering how critical literacy links to self esteem. Put simply it allows me to read past marketing hype and journalistic hyperbole. Therefore, I rarely absorb the ideas thrust upon me by the media; I don’t believe everything I read.

So no I don’t think everyone takes photos all the time.

What do you think?

Filed Under: Blog, Self Esteem Tagged With: critical literacy promotes self esteem, I am not like everyone else, I hate instragram, power of critical literacy

Let Teenagers Have an Internet Voice

March 4, 2012 By Nicole Feledy

The storm created by Caitlin Flanagan’s book Girl Land, is an example of adults believing they are ‘in the know’. Of course, the Internet has affected the lives of young women and yes, the impact has been far reaching – it has also influenced the lives of young men. In fact, the Internet has probably affected most of us.

However, what frustrates me in the debates surrounding the Internet and today’s youth, is the seeming belief that adults have all the answers to the questions that assail our kids. Often, it seems as though adults look back on their own lives – their own challenges and opportunities, their own disappointments and triumphs, and apply ‘I wish I had’ hindsight to direct the lives of younger people.

To my way of thinking this is problematic. Firstly it neglects the very obvious fact that today’s world poses a very different set of challenges and opportunities to those present ten years ago – let alone 25 years ago. More importantly, it diminishes the intelligence and responsibility of today’s teenagers. It seems that adults can be so busy protecting teenagers and warning parents, that the self proclaimed ‘experts’ forget to actually ask young people what is going on for them and what they think they, as teenagers, should be doing do about it.

Think for a moment about the extraordinary achievements of the ordinary young people you know. On a daily basis I see young people taking directorship of their own lives and achieving remarkable results. Of course they need support (we all do), but they also deserve a hearing. We adults can learn much about the lives of young people and what they need to make their life meaningful, safe and advantageous, simply by listening to what they say they need.

In my humble opinion, debating over the Internet’s effect on the lives of teenagers and what we as a society should do to protect them, is simply tokenistic posturing, if we don’t also include the voice of young people. Sure, young people need support, but they do not need to become a mini-me. Young people need to develop skills. They need critical, emotional and digital literacy and they need adult’s respect.

I love listening to the ideas of young people – through their innocent and creative lens, they have usually, already seen the solution.

Filed Under: Self Esteem Tagged With: teenagers have an internet voice

Looking Out the Window to a Fresh Perspective

October 2, 2011 By Nicole Feledy

When I am stuck, when I can’t think what to say or write next, I look out the window. At a tangible level looking out the window offers a fresh perspective; a different scene to that which plays out on the computer screen, an alternative horizon to the conjured image of restricting room walls. On a conceptual plane, gazing out the window reminds me to get out of my own head space and be aware of the sights, sounds and sensations around me. Looking out the window offers me the opportunity to regain control of my thought processes and their commanding emotions. It is a gentle reminder to be, rather than expecting to be.

Today, I look out the window to a river that shimmers a deep azure blue and mountains which reach towards cotton ball clouds. It is a peaceful, colourful kaleidoscope and as I look through the lens I recognise the relationship between the river and the internal forces which drive me to write. I notice how the wind blows ripples across the surface, while the pulling tide steers the deeper water in a different direction. These two forces seem to struggle in opposition and the water swirls in confused eddies like small circles of discontent. Is this why I write? Do I seek solace from the conflicting forces which whirl within?

Perhaps.

I know that writing soothes me. I know that the thoughts and emotions lodged deep within crave creative outlet. They long to skim across a carefree surface, frolicking  alongside the winds call. So I write what I feel and as the ideas are pulled from the hidden depths, they lighten and begin to glimmer. They reflect the glow of open space and dance a circling pirouette.

My perspective changes. Now as I look to the river, watching its currents, the circling eddies appear to be a gleeful cooperation between the forces above and below. The window has fulfilled its obligation. It reminded me that I have a choice. I can look at the scene in front of me and choose to see restless conflict, or I can perceive the synergetic collaboration.   

This is the value of perspective; the message of the Window. When we are willing to recognise that the same event or image may be viewed from a more than one angle, we begin to take control of the direction of our thoughts. This is not a matter of simply ‘looking for the positive’. Rather it is a choice to be aware of ourself within a wider context and to recognise we have the power to write our own story.

Ahhh, now I am ready to keep writing my book. I have almost finished and I hope readers of this blog will enjoy the tale I have to tell.

 

Filed Under: Self Esteem, Writing Tagged With: choosing a perspective, fresh perspective, Looking out the window

Lost Love

September 18, 2011 By Nicole Feledy

I believe love is one of those bitter sweet states of being that both rewards and plagues us all. Lost love, or love which is not returned can be agonising. However, as with any thought or emotion, when we allow the feeling, experience it and  let it go, it becomes an experience, rather than a force which dictates our actions. The key is to let go rather than wallowing in self recriminations or riding the blame carousel. The pain, as hurtful as it is, will subside as long as we allow it to pass through rather than holding it within. Of course, this is not easy. Emotional pain does ‘hurt’, yet the pain will fade if we allow it to.

A rather gross analogy is to imagine what would happen if you kept picking at a scab on your arm. It would bleed, and then another scab would form. However if you kept picking at the scab, the blemish would grow and eventually leave a nasty scar.

To prevent scaring, change focus. Mindfulness and reading inspirational material can help (a book I can thoroughly recommend is The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho).  The aim is not to distract, but rather to open our eyes to a different perspective. To recognise we have a choice and we can choose to learn. We can recognise and choose our emotions, rather than giving them control over us.  

Finally, the ancient poet/philosopher Rumi suggested,

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

Filed Under: Self Esteem Tagged With: allowing emotions, Lost love

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