Is This MyStory

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A story to show how our dreams communicate with us

July 10, 2010 By Nicole Feledy

A sharp scream sliced the icy evening air. Jane jerked awake gasping for breath.

“What was that”!

Fighting to recall where she was and why she was there Jane fell back against the pillows and warily sought to remember the dream. Moving furtively through her thoughts, she willed herself to focus on the series of letters that danced tauntingly on the edge of her consciousness. What was that word? Intuitively Jane knew she must remember.

 Desperate to solve the riddle, but reluctant to evoke the terror it inspired; she closed her eyes and willed herself to concentrate. ‘It began with an E, there was an A and a U and an N… Enu…. Ebau’ the word still would not take recognisable form. And yet… the feeling it represented was an almost tangible presence. It was a malevolent force, a monster that sucked the life from its victims.

 Shivering, Jane rose gracefully from her bed and moved toward the desk. The familiar Windows chime welcomed her while the light from the screen valiantly repelled the night shadows.  Tonight the red, blue, green and yellow Google letters wore a beige and black Hounds Tooth print scarf and sported a Dear Stalker hat.

“Well Sherlock, it seems I really need your help tonight’

Which growing confidence, Jane started punching in the letters she had seen. E, U, N, B, I. Nothing, at least nothing useful, she kept searching.

Anubis – The Greek god of the afterlife

Enuki – Powerful Babylonian Earth spirits

Although both words could have represented the force that woke her, Jane wasn’t sure that was what she had seen. At least, as she spent time thinking about what it may have been and reflecting on why she dreamed of a word she had never consciously seen, a warm reassuring confidence banished the lingering feelings of dread. Whatever it was, Jane knew she was able to fight it. Jane knew that by being consciously aware, she could beat it.

A month later, Jane was reading a news article and recognition flooded through her. There it was in black and white! The word. Ennui. She Googled it. Ennui, “weariness and discontent resulting from satiety or lack of interest; boredom”

Realisation surged like an electric current, infusing very pore. That was the malevolent force! The negativity and resentment which clocked itself in disinterest and boredom. Jane realised her dream had been a message from deep within herself. A wake up call. Jane knew that by being consciously aware, she could beat it. Jane decided, she would not be a victim.

Filed Under: Self Esteem Tagged With: dream, dreams, Ennui

Do teachers deny students’ spirit?

June 29, 2010 By Nicole Feledy

Recently I was reading a motivational book for budding small business owners. One of the ideas that really resonated within me was the claim that teachers often (unwittingly) take away a student’s ‘spirit’. It was suggested that teachers encourage students to deny their dreams in the face of a realist perspective that encourages them to focus on the task at hand (pay attention in class).

Of course as a teacher I pondered the reality of that statement. Does a teacher’s insistence that a class listens attentively to instructions and then practice the skills that have been demonstrated, constitute the destruction of hope and spirit? From where I stand (both at the front of the classroom and behind this keyboard) I think this is too simplistic an assertion. Certainly as I have mentioned in previous posts, I believe the role of a teacher is to inspire hope and encourage dreams. Teachers provide students with confidence so they can ‘ask’ the questions and then discover the answers. This confidence is essential both in terms of a student’s ability to learn and their self esteem. To be successful, a student must be willing to take risks and expose themselves to critical evaluation. They must be willing to experiment and value equally both praise and correction. Of course we all like praise, and correction can (especially if delivered negatively) cause anxiety and sadness. However if a student has a secure sense of who they are, they are more likely to understand that any correction, and indeed any  praise, is for the action itself rather than the themselves. The challenge for teachers is to create an environment where students feel comfortable expressing themselves, while also appreciating the needs and perspectives of others. Put simply this means at times teachers need to insist students pay attention so that learning may take place for the whole group. Perhaps a story will illustrate this better.

Mary was a year 11 student who read feverously, eagerly immersing herself within the pages. She willingly participated in class discussions where she shared her ideas and commented on the relationship between themes and ‘real life’. Her comments reflected an in depth understanding of what she had read and an ability to critically evaluate a situation. However her writing lacked conviction. Ideas were presented in a random way with little thought to sentence structure or a cohesive argument. Mary relied on colloquial expression and often retreated behind ‘recounting the story’ rather than offering critically analysis. During lessons where Mary was required to write she chatted to her classmates, either dissecting last weekend’s activities, or planning the weekend ahead.  When asked by her teacher, Mr Miln, to focus in her work, Mary became sullen and uncooperative.

Mr Miln was an experienced teacher who had encountered many students like Mary during his 15 years of teaching. He wanted to help Mary improve her writing skills so she could achieve the results she was capable of. Yet every time he modelled essay writing skills, Mary was more interested in her classmates or gazing out the window. So Mr Miln raised his concerns at a parent teacher evening. Mary angrily accused him of playing favourites in class and singling her out for undue criticism. Mary’s parents wanted to support their daughter, yet they were aware her examination results had always been low. Sitting across from two sets of anxious eyes and one set of furious ones, Mr Miln made a decision. He realised he was tired of rehashing the same conciliatory discussion year after year with students who felt threatened and parents who felt confused. This is the moment, he thought. This is the moment where I either I stop teaching or I start really teaching.

Smiling gently he leant toward across the table towards Mary and her parents. Speaking softly he asked Mary, “what are you afraid of?” Mary returned his earnest gaze with a look of incredulous indignation. How dare he accuse her of being scared! Again Mr Miln repeated his question. “Mary, what are you afraid of?”  With a toss of her head Mary snapped, “Nothing”. Satisfied, Mr Miln leaned back in his chair and nodded. ‘I thought so.”  

 Mary’s eyes widened as Mr Miln went on to say, “Mary you have so much to offer. Your ideas are valuable and should be shared. But this fear of nothing, this belief that you have nothing valuable to offer is crippling you.”

 “That’s not what I said” Mary replied angrily, “you are twisting my words”.

Again Mr Miln smiled gently, “Am I? You told us you were scared for nothing, and from what I see that is exactly what we need to explore” He continued on, “Mary, it seems to me that when you are faced with a blank sheet of paper you see an expanse of nothing and that is frightening.”

He checked to see he had her attention before continuing, “as you gaze at that blank page you are scared. You begin to think that the nothingness it reflects is a nothingness in you. So you search for ways to find connections and affirmations from the people sitting around you. Alternatively, you gaze out the window imagining all the things you would like to write about but don’t want to since putting them on paper means others will have tangible evidence of your thoughts.”

Mr Miln paused briefly before adding, “Mary, it seems to me that you fear your ideas are just more ‘nothing’ so you convince yourself it is better to write nothing than be accused of writing ideas that are worth nothing”

Mary squirmed uncomfortably in her seat but remained silent, so Mr Miln went on “Mary what would happen if you redirected those fears? What would happen if you believed in yourself and had confidence in your ideas – after all they are your ideas and all anyone else can do is say they do not share your opinions. And remember Mary, a difference of opinion is simply that, a different perspective”

Mary was leaning forward in her seat now, so Mr Miln offered a little more. “Mary I want your spirit to shine, I want to provide you with a collective, supportive environment where you may develop your skills within a safe ‘real’ environment; a place where your dreams can become tangible realities. But I need your help. I need you to make the conscious decision that you want to share your ideas through writing coherent sophisticated arguments that may be judged by others. Consider this Mary, judgement is to be embraced. It is through listening to others that we begin to appreciate the multiple perspectives that make up our world and it is by appreciating those multiple perspectives that we grow.”

 Mary blinked a few times before offering a half smile. “Mr Miln” she said shyly “I do want to write better, but every time I try, I get back results saying I have not answered the question, or my language is too simple, or my sentences don’t make sense.”

 Mr Miln nodded, “so… how do you feel when you hear those comments?” Mary replied, “I feel worthless and that all the effort was for nothing” Again Mr Miln nodded, “so what do you do with those feeling” Mary thought a moment “I shove them down here (she pointed to her stomach) and think I don’t care”. Mr Miln looked Mary in the eye and asked “why?”

Mary shook her head “because it hurts to care.”

Mr Miln looked back at Mary’s parents who had been listening earnestly to this exchange, before returning his attention to Mary. “Mary, this is what we need to address. I can show you how to write sentences that make sense, I can provide strategies for answering a question, I can teach you how to use sophisticated words. But you need to care. You need to care enough about yourself that you do not need outward reassurances of care”

 Again he looked back at Mary’s parents “look I realise this is a lot to ask of a young lady who is still discovering who she is. I realise developing a sense of inner trust is a lifelong process, but the earlier we start, the more equipped we are to live prosperously in this world.”  

 Mary’s parents nodded. Mr Miln smiled, “so Mary what do you say… are you willing to care and have faith in yourself, remember I will be here to offer support.”

He stopped and thought for a moment, “Mary do you remember learning to ride a bike? You may have been anxious then, you may have fallen a few time and been frightened to get back on the bike”

Mary’s father chuckled and responded “That’s right Mary, remember you said you were never going to ride it again so I may as well sell it? Remember honey what I said to you? I said let’s give it another go. I will hold on to the back and run along next to you. Oh you were reluctant, but you were also determined. You wanted the freedom of riding a bike. So, you peddled and I held on running next to you. In no time at all you were riding off on your own” Mary looked to her father. “Yes Dad, I remember”

 Three sets of expectant eyes now looked at Mr Miln, so he asked “Mary, what do you say, are you determined to have the freedom of expression that confident writing will give you?”

 Mary nodded. Mr Miln continued “Ok, I will support you by giving you a framework upon which to write – no more ‘nothing’. And you will respond with definite purpose, willingness to practice and confidence in your ability to achieve” Mary’s half smile widened to a grin as she nodded, “Yes Mr Miln I will”

Filed Under: Learning, Teaching Tagged With: Class Blogs, student's ability to learn, teacher, teachers

The Role of Schools

June 21, 2010 By Nicole Feledy

The sheer volume of information readily available at the click of a key is astounding and it is growing at an ever increasing rate!! But where will it lead? How much information do we really need and what will happen to our ability to discover ideas on our own? Will we lose the opportunity to experience the wonder of discovery? Whatever the answer to these questions is, one sure consequence is the role of schools has changed.

I have posted on similar topics before. As a teacher, I realise my role is to provide a framework within which students can learn and then develop the skills they require to successfully navigate their future. As an English teacher that means I need to offer my students the opportunity to acquire and expand their ability to read and write critically. In other words, to analyse, evaluate and offer reasoned opinions. The rewarding fact is these are skills and as such, are within reach of each student. Just as an athlete improves their prowess through practice and dedication, so can students extend their reading and writing skills through regular, purposeful reading and writing. Linking to and contributing to a blog such as this is one positive way to achieve this.  Unfortunately, not all students are as motivated in this area as they are devoted to their sport and leisure activities. The challenge then for teachers (and schools) is to create environments where inspiration becomes the motivation.

Students today are digital natives who go to Google for answers and they expect to ‘know’ in an instant. The days of teachers being the ‘expert’ at the front of the classroom expounding knowledge, gleaned laboriously through endless hours hunched over books in dimly lit libraries are, if not already, soon to be a distant memory (perhaps to be watched in incredulous humour on YouTube). Teaches instead will become ‘coaches’ who model ‘how’ and then pose questions so students can ‘do’. Here it is worth noting the importance of questioning. It is in asking questions that we stimulate interest and inspire motivation.

Of course this means the classroom should be a place which is relevant, comfortable, safe and inventive. Students need to feel as though there is a purpose to what they are studying and that they are moving toward a specific (desired) destination.

Here I return to the recognition of the immense and exponentially growing information ‘web’. Just like a web, it threatens to ensnare the unwary. Therefore, it is vital that teachers and schools provide students with the opportunity and desire to hone their ability to read and write critically. As our students begin to appreciate the value of the question (more than the instantaneous answer) they are more likely to develop their own self awareness and motivation.

Filed Under: Learning, Teaching Tagged With: motivated, motivation, reading and writing skills, role of schools

Friendship is a quest to belong

June 6, 2010 By Nicole Feledy

Belonging is a desired state, at least that is what we are led to believe. Certainly it is a significant aspect of teenage life. This fact is recognised by the NSW Board of Studies who has prescribed ‘Belonging’ as the Area of Study to be explored by all students of HSC English. Students are encouraged to consider the concept of Belonging from multiple perspectives while also identifying barriers to belonging and the choice ‘not to belong’. This is achieved through studying the stories of others, within fiction and non-fiction, poetry and images. Obviously it creates the potential for valuable reflective analysis. The challenge is to ensure it is relevant!

Arguably, belonging is a state of mind. It occurs when we identify commonalities, or aspire to ‘share’ with others. The degree to which we acknowledge a sense of belonging is often dependant on the strength and number of our perceived connections with others. Here is where it becomes tricky on the friendship wheel.

Friends are people we choose to share time with. We share with them our ideas, feelings, hopes and dreams. We rely on our friends to relieve boredom. Friends provide a place to be and a reason to be there.   We trust our friends to keep our secrets and bolster our spirits. As a result we often judge the strength of our friendship on the degree to which they mirror our own ideas and values. This has the potential to become complicated, particularly in our teenage years. What happens when we are not sure of ‘who’ we are? What if we project that unstable sense of self on to our friends? In other words, what if our own insecurities lead us to question if our ‘friends’ really value us?

It seems in order to be a ‘friend’, we need to be a friend to our self. Or, to return to the concept of belonging; when we feel as though we ‘belong’ in our own skin, we recognise and value the connections between our conscious, our unconscious, and our intrinsic values. At this time, we begin to accept our identity and are free to acknowledge our self worth. As a result we feel comfortable and secure. This allows us to accept others for who they are rather than who we expect them to be. In these cases we are universally, friendly and thus ‘belong’.

Interestingly the previous Area of Study was Journey. This study encouraged students to consider how the process of moving from one place to another, be it physically, emotionally or imaginatively, provides a vehicle for the discovery of fresh perspectives. And guess what the Area of Study was before ‘Journey’…. Yes, it was Perspectives.

Filed Under: Self Esteem Tagged With: belong, Belonging, friends

Reading for Love and Literature

May 25, 2010 By Nicole Feledy

Do you read what you love, do your read because you love Literature? Is it the form and structure which gains your attention or the skilful manipulation of prose to create harmony, is it the dissention that encourages you, or the awe that inspires?

Or, do you read for a more interactive social experience. Do the characters become friends who lead you on a journey of self discovery?

 Is it a little of both?

I have recently realised my approach to literature definitely leans more toward a humanist approach. I love books, rather than loving literature. I love to share in the world of others. Of course I appreciate the value of a well turned phrase, but I wonder at the delight of an artfully created character who shares their emotions. I read to be entertained, to escape the physical reality around me and to appreciate lives other than my own. I read to discover the world beyond.

 Why do you read?

Filed Under: Reading

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