Is This MyStory

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How to Increase Student Engagement

February 20, 2017 By Nicole Feledy

Teachers are busy. They are busy building learning opportunities for students. Teachers plan, execute and reflect. They want to create engaging environments where students learn. It doesn’t always work. A recent report published by the Grattan Institute, suggests up to 40% of school students in Australia may be unproductive in any given year.

Unproductive behaviours such as idle chatter, avoiding work and being inattentive in class are signs of a disengaged student and these behaviours are costing our kids their education. However many aren’t even aware of the price they’re paying. All a disengaged child sees is a boring class that’s too easy, too difficult or not relevant and they’d rather be somewhere else. 

It can be different

Students are busy. They’re busy growing. Children are learning who they are, where they belong and which of their contributions are valued. Along the way, they’re also gathering content knowledge and skills. Subjects such as English and History may seem irrelevant to a student focused on a degree in Biochemistry. Yet these subjects offer communication and thinking skills to study the behaviour of cells and nature of matter. Similarly, Physics and Economics may seem immaterial to a student focused on becoming a pro athlete, musician or master builder. However these subjects offer principles and processes to recognise patterns and plan for the future. 

The key is perspective

Teachers and students can get busy building mindful connections. I’m using the word busy deliberately. Often when reading an article about how to increase student engagement we feel the weight of yet another ‘thing to do’ burden. Teacher’s wonder what else will be lumped on their plate. 

  • What can I do in my already busy day. 
  • How will I find the time for more work? 
  • Where can I find time to learn another new practice to boost my students’ engagement?

I hear you

Time is a precious commodity. We need to be mindful of how we spend it. This applies to both teacher and student. Generally, we’re happier when we’re devoting time to something we find valuable. If we’re mindful, we’re more likely to use time wisely because we’re aware of what we’re doing. The act of being mindful takes no extra time. It is simply a different way of being aware. Right now, I’m suggesting we can be mindful of internal motivations and use this information to BE engaged. 

Think about this for a moment. Teachers and students can be mindful of their perspectives and in doing so carve time into busy schedules. The ideas I’m about to share take no extra time, they simply ask you to consider a different perspective.

What does Engagement look like?

Students are more engaged when 

  •  Learning is meaningful – students see how the learning is relevant to themselves and their lives
  • Learning is achievable – students believe they can successfully complete a task or understand a concept
  • Learning is autonomous and supported – students feel as though they have choice and a measure of control over their learning while also knowing help is available.
  • Learning is collaborative – students feel as though they are connected to ideas and people beyond themselves. They see their work has value and is valued.
  • Learning leads to mastery – students recognise learning means more than a grade on page. They see the progression of their learning and opportunities that result from that progression.

Gallup have a student poll that measures these areas. They ask key questions to determine the extent to which a student feels their needs are met. These questions focus on value, safety and recognition. For example;

  1. I have a best friend at school
  2. I feel safe at school
  3. I have an opportunity to do what I do best each day
  4. I have at least one teacher who excites me about my future

If you look at the relationship between these questions and the factors required for student engagement it becomes obvious, the more a student can answer yes to questions like these, the more likely they are to feel engaged. 

Time for a Mindful Strengths-Based approach

Now I’ve reached the crux of this post. We can use mindful practice to increase student engagement without adding any extra time burdens. Teachers can be mindfully aware of their talents and the talents of their students. Student can be mindfully aware of their talents and the talents of their classmates (and teachers). In this deliberate understanding, connections are made. Teachers know what each student needs and contributes. Students know what they need and contribute. An emphasis on recognising needs and contributions provides an environment where each person feels safe, understood and valued. This is an environment where learning thrives. When you know what you and others need, it is easier to recognise the relevance in learning because you feel valued, give value and see how collaborative relationships contribute to life. Collaborative learning is possible because everyone is using a shared vocabulary that fosters recognition of talent. Each person knows the value they bring to a project and talents are shared for group success. Students have autonomy in their learning because everyone realises there are different ways to reach the same successful outcome. 

The Key is Strengths, The Practice is Mindfulness, The Process is a Story

Mindfulness practice helps a person recognise the links between their thoughts, emotions and behaviours. This recognition helps them develop talents into strengths that can be consistently, productively and successful applied. Experiences of success, build stories of success and as these stories are shared, connections are made. When a school adopts a mindful, strengths-based narrative, they put in place a system where each student and teacher can be part of the creation of a wider experience library. This gives a sense of belonging and ownership. Students and teachers feel part of a community and this creates a space for engagement. 

A useful start is Gallup’s StrengthsQuest. This is an online assessment administered by Gallup that helps teachers and students identify their core talents. The next step is to learn how to mindfully apply those talents in teaching and learning. There are many helpful resources on the StrengthsQuest page  however, if you would like a personalised approach that addresses your specific needs you may like to speak with a qualified coach and trainer. I’d love to be of service.

If you would like to implement a mindful strengths-based narrative in your classroom or school, contact Nicole to learn how. She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, Trained Meditation and Mindfulness teacher and has more than 17 years classroom experience as a Secondary School English Teacher. Nicole offers 1:1 coaching, group workshops and interactive seminar presentations. She can tailor a package to meet the specific needs of you and your school. Contact Nicole today;

e: nicole@isthismystory.com  m: 0425 209 008

Welcome to a World of Expression

Focus | Engage | Inspire

Filed Under: Blog, Learning, Teaching Tagged With: create engaging learning environments, How to increase student engagement, mindful strengths based narrative

Using Stories in Personal and Professional Development

January 5, 2017 By Nicole Feledy

We tell ourselves stories all the time. We tell stories in an attempt to make sense of our world. We tell stories about our life and what we deserve. We tell stories to explain our actions. Yet how often do you consciously examine the stories you tell and how effectively do you evaluate the stories you see and hear? 

After years of teaching and training I’ve come to believe the most powerful aspect of stories are not necessarily their literary merit, but rather the opportunity to learn. Stories may be seen as life’s metaphors. Deliberate attention to the way a story is told can be the study of life experiences. Narrative is a vehicle for emotional intelligence because it provides an opportunity for social, emotional learning.

Stories offer entrance to a new world. We participate from a protected position so that, when a character learns, we learn. As we analyse the characters in a story and critically evaluate the strategies they use to overcome problems, we learn new perspectives of our own situations. We may also see innovative solutions. In other words, deliberate attention to story offers an opportunity to practise the evaluative skills that can help us understand the stories of our self talk. We recognise our choices have consequences and we are responsible for our actions.

Find the message
Think about a children’s movie. For example Disney’s re-make of Cinderella or the hugely successful Frozen. Why are they so popular? Perhaps it is because their message is simple, beautifully presented and light hearted. They feel good. They have recurring themes and motifs that build emotional connection through a simple message. 

“Have courage and Be Kind”

“Let it go”.

These movies use repetition, symbols and recurring metaphor. Disney is a master storyteller.  There are many storytellers who are very clever at engaging emotion and sharing a message. 

  1. Which movie, TV show or book calls to you? Why? 
  2. How does this relate to the way you like to live your life?
  3. What can you learn from this and other films, shows or books you enjoy?

Your answer to these questions reveals tangible ideas about your perspectives and values.  These perspectives offer clues about your perception of your place within your Story. 

Are you where you want and need to be? 

What will it take to be where you need to be?

Be Intentional in Your Use of Language
The language you use when recounting an event will also help you determine where you stand. Awareness of how language works highlights patterns in self-talk. Understanding language helps a person evaluate their inner world. This helps you function more effectively in your outer world. Symbols, metaphor and personification help you share complex ideas in simpler terms. Foreshadowing establishes directional markers that point toward a predetermined goal. 

  1. What metaphors or analogies do you use? 
  2. How do you foreshadow what is to come?
  3. Do you use words with positive, neutral or negative connotation?

What Story Will You Tell?
You may like to think of it this way, the stories you tell yourselves have the power to limit or enrich your life. They key is to identify which stories foster growth and development and which may be limiting you. The next step is to actively and deliberately phrase your story the way you want it to be.

When you change your story, you change your life.

Finally, remember, the core difference between a recount and a narrative is the Complication. A recount provides a sequence of events, a story weaves a shared experience by showing how a character overcomes a challenge. When you recognise the complication has a resolution, you find yourself with a plan for moving through life’s challenges. Rather than being stuck in a drama cycle, you have the strength to move through to your goal, dream or destination.

If you would like to know more about the intentional use of use of narrative please contact Nicole to learn more about our Storyboarding courses or Mindful Narrative of Strengths Coaching. You may even like to participate in our inaugural Is This MyStory Life Creation Course.

Call today to arrange a complimentary introductory session.

m: 0425 209 008   e: nicole@isthismystory.com

Welcome to a World of Expression

Focus | Engage | Inspire

Filed Under: Blog, Powerful stories, Strengths Coaching Tagged With: intentional use of narrative, narrative coaching, narrative of emotional intelligence, Using Stories in Personal and Professional Development

Sorry You Caught Me on a Burning Day

December 5, 2016 By Nicole Feledy

Do you remember the scene from Harry Potter, The Chamber of Secrets when Harry meets Fawks? The bird is scruffy and motley. His feathers are tattered. He looks old and tired. Dumbledore expresses regret. He explains Fawks is a Phoenix and this is a burning day.  

Today, I feel like Fawks. 

I feel scruffy and bedraggled. A deep grey stripe cuts the crown of my head and to me, it matters. I’ll happily accept other people’s hair in all its guises but if mine doesn’t match my expectation of how it ‘should be’, I worry. It’s not concern over what other people think, it’s deeper. It’s personal. 

You’ve caught me on a burning day and my hair echoes my thoughts.

My hair springs from my head. The roots extend into my skull and if they’re grey, it feels as though my thoughts are grey. When my hair is ‘neat’ my thoughts are neat, when my hair goes its own free way, my thoughts are free. When I add colour, my thoughts are fresh. It feels as though when my hair is colourful and curly I get more done. My thoughts are more creative, my writing is lighter and I’m confident. Weird huh? 

Maybe it’s not so weird. 

Hair can be a metaphor. It has certainly been done before. 

Remember the biblical story of Samson and Delilah. Samson told Delilah his great strength came from his hair. Unfortunately, Delilah betrayed him. She cut his hair and Samson lost his power. 

Maybe you can see where I’m going with this? 

Often strength is tied to self image. Physical appearance, or how you keep yourself, can reflect internal processes. Expressions such as ‘you are what you eat’ or ‘dress for success’ are examples. They show how appearance can extend beyond what other people see. They relate to your perception of yourself. They reflect self respect. How you think of yourself is often mirrored in the care you take with your appearance. When you respect yourself, it shows.

Of course there are times I’ve thought I looked good and others thought the opposite. I remember arguments with my parents where I thought I looked sensational but they were horrified – ‘oh no Nicole’ they’d say, ‘you’re not wearing that’. 

Putting generational fashion sense, social conventions, uniforms and business attire aside, our personal impression of how we look and the effort we’re willing to put into our appearance may offer metaphorical clues to what’s happening internally. 

Again, I need to be clear, I’m not advocating a particular appearance or specific level of self care. I’m also not saying one way is better than another. Rather, I’m suggesting you consider your eccentricities in terms of dress or, as in my case, hair. You may learn something about your personal metaphors. 

 I feel better when my hair is the way I like it – be it curly and coloured, straight and refined or serviceably tied in a ponytail on the top of my head. I style my hair for a particular moment. Then my thoughts are in order and ready for a particular situation. I feel strong and able to do what I need to do.

The metaphor runs even deeper. Remember Fawks the Phoenix. He is scruffy on a burning day. However, when he looks his worst he is ready to combust, burn and rise from ashes. He starts again from a raw state and matures into a strong force. It is a cycle.

This is what I remember today. Today I feel scruffy and disheveled. My thoughts are scattered and messy. But tomorrow will be different. Tomorrow the grey stripe will disappear and, just as I can change my appearance, I can change my state of mind. This hair metaphor helps me see I have the power to choose more playful thoughts. It also reminds me when things seem to be their worst, change is just ahead. 

I will be strong again.

At this point I need to make a confession. This post was based on a journal entry. I wrote the journal the day before my hairdresser appointment. The journaling process helped me move through troubling thoughts. Rather than being stuck in grey, I’m not worthy judgments, I used the burning day metaphor to understand what was happening in my mind. Rather than worrying, I wrote. Journaling was my burning. Today, I reflect upon the journal entry. This offers even deeper awareness. I remember I am the author of my story. I remember I have the power to redirect my thoughts and I remember when I change the story, I change my life. 

What story are you telling yourself today?

(image credit https://www.pottermore.com/image/harry-meets-fawkes)

Nicole provides the tools to feel better about yourself and your decisions. She offers a mindful approach to a strength based narrative. Nicole coaches you through the process of identifying your stories and distinguishing the ones that serve you from the ones that have been limiting you. We can arrange face to face coaching on the Gold Coast or in Sydney. Alternatively ask about our Skype sessions.

If you want to reclaim your identity, achieve your goals, and get your life back on track. Contact us today to arrange a complimentary introduction to strengths coaching.

m: 0425 209 008 e: nicole@isthismystory.com

Welcome to a World of Expression

Focus | Engage | Inspire

 

Filed Under: Blog, Self Esteem Tagged With: reclaim your identity, self respect and appearance

Finding a Strategic Connection to Childhood Stories

November 19, 2016 By Nicole Feledy

BoWhen I was 14 my parents swapped a car for a horse. The car was a dirty brown, early 1970s Holden we affectionately called Erg worm. The horse was a 14.3 hands high Pinto named Bo. 

Dad was starting a new job that gave him a company car. I met Bo at the local riding school and fell in love. The operators of the riding school needed a vehicle for their daughter.

It was a perfect match. 

My parents made the connection and gave me an opportunity to live a dream. It came with responsibility. They paid for Bo’s feed and I paid for the paddock. I cared for him, held a part time job and maintained high grades. I learnt resilience, accountability and to be resourceful. I experienced freedom, companionship and the sheer delight of being in nature.

Bo was My Best Friend
He’d been schooled as a stock horse but sold to a riding school and failed at both. He was cheeky and independent. He’d take the bit, shy at shadows and spin on dime if he wanted to go a different direction. Yet, he was always considerate. He allowed room for my legs when we passed a tree. He’d nuzzle close when I was worried or upset. If I needed time to think, he kept us on track. He also enabled my sense of adventure.

Have you every just taken a path just to see where it will lead?

That was what my childhood was like. Bo was a willing accomplice. Many times we took a trail, simply to see where it went. We discovered amazing places – beautiful wonders, far from the main trail. These were remote spaces few else saw. It was the early 1980s. There were no mobile phones, no GPS, no way of knowing exactly where we were. All we knew were the rough boundary of the National Park. 

Although we were often lost, we always found our way back to the main track. If a side path beckoned, I wanted to be on it. I was inspired by what may be around the corner. Bo probably wanted a quicker way home. 

If a voice of reason intruded, 

“are you sure about this” 

”is this a waste of time?” 

It was silenced. 

Curiosity and wonder were stronger than the internal nay sayer. All that was important was being alive and doing what we were born to do. 

Then I Grew Up
I stopped riding and swapped stirrups for pedals. I bought a car and buried myself in the job of being an adult. Bo lived his days in peace, retired in the country. I immersed myself in the world of work. The expectations and responsibility of career and family weighed heavily. I nearly forgot who I was. 

Nearly,  but not quite.

You see, the world has a funny way of reminding you who you are. Random moments that inspire a hint of memory. I was teaching students how to develop their critical thinking skills and in the process, connected to my own. The catalytic moment was teaching Robert Frost’s poem, The Road Not Taken. While guiding students through the nuance of each word, I realised, I wanted to take the road less traveled. Being a teacher of literature was not enough. I wanted to help people connect with their stories. 

Then, I took the Clifton Strengths Finder and found clarity. I discovered my talents and it all made perfect sense. My top two talents are Strategic and Connectedness. 

Strategic
According to Gallup Strategic describes the ability to recognise patterns. People high in Strategic are aware of the multiple options that lead from one place to another. They quickly discard alternatives that won’t work. They find the best way through a course of action to a chosen destination. Even if they don’t know specific details, they’re confident they can make the necessary adjustments along the way. All they need is the start point and the end point to quickly formulate a plan. 

Connectedness
Gallup refer to Connectedness as the ability to recognise the greater forces beyond what’s immediately seen or felt. People high in Connectedness intuit the things that unite us. They see, hear and feel the connections between people, places and things. They’re aware of the big picture and build bridges to span ideas, feelings and behaviours. 

Recognising a Strategic Connection
As Bo and I travelled the trails of Davidson National Park my sense that there was a higher purpose gave me the courage to take different tracks. I didn’t know where they led. However I knew why I was in the bush. It was here I felt most alive. I knew where I’d come from and I knew where I were going. We explored the less travelled trails because we knew they led to the most beautiful places.

It was these childhood adventures that forged my sense of identity. As a teenager, I was connected to the natural world. I lived in the bush and felt a deep link through my horse. He was a bridge between my physical and inner worlds. Bo was a tangible friend and an intangible symbol of freedom and choice. The adventures we shared sharpened my ability to find the path. It didn’t matter if I couldn’t see the complete trail, I knew I could run scenarios in my mind, calculate parameters, account for the obstacles and trusted the path would get me there.

Sunlit waterBo was just over 30 when he passed – quite old for a horse. However, each evening I feel his presence. I sit at my desk. The sun settles over bush covered hills. It’s warmth nuzzles my arm as my fingers ride the key board. I look across the river and see trails of light shying across the water. I know he is close. My imagination, my stories, my resilience and my faith were strengthened by the experiences we shared.

My Parents Swapped a Car for a Horse
My parents swapped a car for a horse and in doing so gave me so much more than they ever imagined. They gave me access to the power of choice. They gave me a future filled with possibility. I discovered how to follow my dreams even when the path ahead was covered in scrub. They gave me the opportunity to develop my talents. My childhood taught me how to find my own way and “take the road less traveled”. I learnt to recognise my path and finish what I start. It taught me to enjoy the journey and be confident. I know “way leads on to way” and it is on these less traveled paths I’ll find my treasure.

What did your childhood teach you?

I ask this to encourage you to reflect on the stories of your past. You may discover a path to your self. In accessing childhood stories of wonder and curiosity, you leave behind the restrictions imposed by other people’s stories. Recognising the stories of your childhood may help you find internal inspiration.

If you’d like to become mindfully aware of your stories and move from talent to strength, contact Nicole. We offer a mindful approach to a strength based narrative. Nicole coaches you through the process of identifying your stories and distinguishing the ones that serve you from the ones that have been limiting you. We can arrange face to face coaching on the Gold Coast or in Sydney. Alternatively ask about our Skype sessions.

Call now to arrange a complimentary introduction to strengths coaching.

m: 0425 209 008 e: nicole@isthismystory.com

Welcome to a World of Expression

Focus | Engage | Inspire

 

Filed Under: Blog, Powerful stories, Strengths Coaching Tagged With: Coaching Gold Coast, Mindful based strengths coaching, Strengths Coaching Gold Coast, swap a car for a horse

Why Do I Need A Coach?

October 31, 2016 By Nicole Feledy

It’s a simple question and just to be clear, I’m not talking about weight training or physical fitness. The sort of coaching I’m referring to relates to your mental and emotional strength.

Do you know how to inspire yourself each day?

Eric Schmidt, the CEO of google asked himself the same question. As the CEO of an established company, he questioned why he needed a coach. He realised he needed a coach because he needed a person who was on his side. When interviewed by Fortune Magazine, Schmidt said everyone needs a coach. A coach is someone who is objective, someone who believes in you and someone who helps you recognise what you’re doing well so you can see how to do it better. 

Imagine having,

  • Clarity about a particular situation
  • Tangible solutions that feel right when you put them into action
  • Confidence in your ability to manage thoughts and emotions when faced with perplexing challenges.

Why Do I Need a Strengths Coach?
A Strengths coach will help you achieve more and feel better while you’re doing it. They’ll help you recognise patterns in your communication and see the processes you follow when deep in thought or filled with feelings. They’ll help you become alert to your needs and contributions. Most importantly, a Strengths coach will help you direct those patterns, processes and behaviours toward productive action. You’ll see where you are, where you’re going and how to get there.

What if I Already Know Where I’m Going and What I’m Doing?

It’s great if your life is exactly the way you want it to be and you know you’re giving and receiving all you can. However, my question to you is, how effectively are you doing it?

A Strengths Coach Will Help You See What You’re Not Seeing
Picture this.

John is training for the Commonwealth games. He watched the Olympics and believes he has what it takes. He trains every day, swimming lap after lap. He eats well, has plenty of rest and is entirely focused on his success. He reads book after book about swimming champions. He watches re-run after re-run of important swimming meets. He studies the angle of a swimmer’s body as they glide through the water. He listens to commentators highlight what’s working and recognises great performance.

But …

John has never seen himself swim. He doesn’t know how his arms curve as they drop into the water or the way his feet flop as they slam down the lane. He thinks he’s copying the masters of his craft and believes the feelings in his muscles are exactly the same.

But, they’re not.

John needs a coach. John needs an external point of reference. He needs someone who can point out his blindspots and show him where he nailed it. John needs a coach to reflect back what he’s doing well and where he needs more knowledge and skills. John needs a coach who can share relevant information that relates to John’s situation. A coach would help John focus on what he does best – swimming.

How does John’s story relate to yours?

Imagine what you could accomplish with someone by your side. A personal cheer squad who is focused on helping you do what you want and need to do.

Finding Mental and Emotional Fitness
Have you wondered why you feel stress?  Usually it’s because you don’t have the time, money, energy, knowledge or skills to do what you need (or want) to do. You’ve twisted yourself in knots and loop through endless ‘what if’ scenarios.

Your strengths coach can help you untangle thoughts, emotions and behaviours. You’ll learn the language of your talents and be given tools to develop those talents into strengths. This builds confidence. You’ll find direction and know how to access the internal resources that give you the best opportunities. This reduces stress.

With a coach you’ll set and achieve your goals. They’ll help you find a new way in your career. They’ll even help you discover a new life with your partner or navigate the challenges of parenting. Your strengths coach will highlight your talents. You’ll attune to the things you do well. As you direct knowledge and skills to these areas you find yourself achieving more in all areas of your life. 

 What Have You Been Missing?
The Clifton StrengthsFinder helps you identify your talent themes. Based on decades of research, it’s already given clarity to millions of people. However, you’ll want more than just the assessment. You’ll want to know how your talents play out in the real world. This is where your coach helps. You’ll gain insights into your ability to;

  • fulfil daily responsibilities
  • accomplish goals
  • live your dreams 

A strengths based approach gives you the tools to live the life you were born to live. Your coach is in your corner. They see what’s good in you and help you see it too.

John knows how to swim. You know how to live your life. However, if you want to do more than just live, if you want to thrive and strengthen your opportunities, allow a coach to help you see what you’ve been missing.

 

bradkay-nic-142or If you’d like to know more about Strengths Coaching and how it can help you, contact Nicole today. We can arrange face to face consultations on the Gold Coast or Sydney. Alternatively ask about our Skype sessions.  

Call now to arrange your complimentary introduction to Strengths coaching session.

m: 0425 209 008   e: nicole@isthismystory.com

Welcome to a World of Expression

Focus | Engage | Inspire

Filed Under: Blog, Strengths Coaching Tagged With: a strengths coach, reduce stress, why do I need a coach

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Nicole Shares Leadership Talents

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Nicole Talks Connectedness

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Is This MyStory – Guided Meditation

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