Is This MyStory

Be the author of your own life

Choose to Be The Author of Your Life

What’s Your Backstory?

By

 

Has anyone ever asked “what’s your story”? Maybe, you’ve heard someone say “this is my story”. Or, perhaps you’ve asked, “what’s their story?”

 Why?

 Why do we look to ‘back story’ to explain our present state? Why do we look  to the past to understand today? Why do we judge a person on what’s  already happened?

 There are many answers to these questions and while you should take a  moment to think about them, the answers are not what I’m looking for.  Rather, I’m asking you to recognise the effect and implications of backstory.

 Stay with me, there’s a point.

Recently I was discussing the novel The Outsiders with a year 7 class. We were looking at the character of Johnny and evaluating how Hinton (the author) foreshadowed future complications. This is what storytellers do. They thrust readers into the middle of the action and then, as the narrative progresses, they slowly reveal the situations and events that brought their characters to this point.

Why?

More importantly, how does it help us? What does it teach us?

In Johnny’s case we learn that his nervousness is a combined result of being abused at home and attacked by the Socs (a rival gang). This brutal bashing provides a context for later events. It is not my intention to explore the novel. Rather I use it to illustrate a point. I use it to encourage you to think about the power of the author. I use it to show how you how the author controls the story through the experiences of the characters.

What would you do if you had the author’s influence? What could you do if you had the power to manipulate your ‘story’, could you influence the future?

While it is true you can’t go back to alter your history, it is possible to shift your perception. You can look back to understand something you didn’t before.

You may be wondering, how can this shape my future?

This is the arena for hopes, dreams and the tangible reality of goals. If you have a clear vision – a target to aim for, you can focus your actions toward that goal. In other words, you become the author shaping a backstory for your future.

Think about it, what is your backstory? How has it influenced the choices you make? Now, use those thoughts to project yourself into the future. What choices can you make today to influence the backstory you’ll tell in a years time? Where would you like to be?

It’s a good idea to write these ideas down. Writing makes them tangible and gives your mind time to digest the thoughts and emotions. You may even like to try this MyStory Reflection activity.

MyStory Reflection Activity

1. Ask yourself, what is my backstory? How has it influenced the choices I make?

2. Use these thoughts to project yourself into the future. What choices can you make today to influence the backstory you’ll tell in a years time?

3. Write these ideas down and put them in a folder or envelope.

4. Date the folder / envelope and put it away in a safe place.

5.Write a note in a calendar to remind yourself to open the envelope or folder in a years time.

6. Repeat this process each month.

In a years time you will have an envelope to open. Be patient, wait the year. After a year open the first envelope and read your thoughts from a year ago. How does it relate to the life your living now? Be positive, recognise what you have learnt and use your thoughts to write a new reflection.

Repeat the process for another year. Each month you will have an envelope to open and a new story to create.

I wonder what you’ll discover.

 

Welcome to a World of Expression

If you would like some personalised study coaching contact Nicole, nicole@isthismystory.com

If you’d like to join our mailing list and receive a MyStory Reflection reminder email each month contact Nicole, nicole@isthismystory.com for more details.

You can learn more about our workshops here. You can get a copy of Nicole’s e-book here and paperback here or contact Nicole: nicole@isthismystory.com for a limited first edition.

Stop Bullying

By

Yet another teen death, Rebecca Ann Sedwick was the tragic victim of on-line bullying. Like an insidious disease that defies treatment, on-line bullying is stealing the childhood of our children.

 Bullying stinks, its hurtful, cowardly and has devastating consequences for  all involved. As today’s article in the SMH shows, our kids need help – so do  their parents. Despite awareness campaigns and parental determination to  protect children, bullies find them. The rapid pace of technological change  has fuelled social media growth and parents, schools and government  can’t  keep up. We need more than treatments. We need to arm  our kids so they  can protect themselves. I have blogged about this before. We need to give  our children the skills, tools and mind strength to prevent the effects of  bullying behaviour.

 

How?

By helping children recognise who they are, where they are and where they want to go. This is what workshops such as our MyStory Mind help teenagers learn – the skills that schools don’t have time to teach. Our kids need to learn how to recognise their emotions and how to manage them. They need to learn how to distinguish their own thoughts from the thoughts of others and they need to uncover their own internal strengths.

Here’s something that many adults tend to forget or overlook – the internal world of a teenager is as real as the external one. I’ll repeat that because it’s important. The internal world of a teenager is as real as the external one. It is within this internal realm that teenagers (in fact most of us) are most vulnerable because it is the one we don’t see. It is the space of thoughts and emotions and these thoughts and emotions have the power to uplift and the power to tear down.

But there is good news. 

We can teach our children how to recognise internal strength and generate their own self esteem. We can help them gather the tools to thrive in their internal world. The benefit of thriving internally, is that the results are amplified in the external world. Put at its most basic, positive people attract positive people, confident people inspire confidence and success attracts success.

How will you help the teenagers in your life become the self aware, self responsible and proactive person that lives the life they dream of?

Welcome to a World of Expression
You can learn more about our workshops here
You can get your copy of Nicole’s e-book here  and paperback here (or for  a Limited First Edition contact Nicole)

Bullying Frightens Me

By

Bullying frightens me – which of course is the point. A bully wants their victim to feel powerless and alone. But that’s not the only reason I’m scared. I’m terrified by the misuse of the verb. What happens when a word such as bullying is overused? 

 

 I know I need to tread lightly here – very, very lightly. So I say this in all  sincerity, bullying is dangerous. Every incident must be taken seriously.  Each report of bullying must be investigated. Which is why I worry. I worry  when people ‘cry wolf’. What happens if the label becomes so misused it  loses its impact? 

 What happens if innocent people become the victims of reverse bullying?

 

Sometimes we need to ask; is adult claiming to be bullied expressing anger after being reprimanded for doing a poor job. Is the child claiming to be bullied expressing jealousy after an argument among friends. Is the boy claiming to be bullied seeking revenge because ‘his’ girl choose someone else. Is the girl claiming to be bullied jealous because ‘her’ part in the school play went to another. 

Maybe not. 

As I said, each cry for help must be addressed. No one should be left feeling isolated, scared or misunderstood. 

Nevertheless, I wonder how often a behaviour is assigned a label before it is understood. Do some people choose the bullying label because it will generate the most attention. Worse, do some people claim to be bullied so someone else gets into trouble. 

Perhaps we rely to much on labelling. 

I wonder what would happen if we devoted more time to helping people understand their behaviour. Better yet, what if we helped people recognise the emotions and thoughts underneath behaviour?  Maybe we could address causes of behaviour rather than treating symptoms. 

Perhaps we could stop labelling and start caring for people as individuals.

 

Welcome to a World of Expression

 

Similar posts: Lost; A Sense of Community

 

 

If you enjoyed reading this post you may like to subscribe to our newsletter of read Nicole’s book, Is This MyStory (available in full or as a four part series)

 

 

Be the Author of Your Story

By

The day has finally arrived. Is This MyStory began as a dream, morphed into a tangible idea, was born in print and has now grown into a series of interactive seminars and workshops. This means you can join a course that will guide you towards becoming the author of your own life rather than being a character in someone else’s.

 

Put simply, Is This MyStory workshops help  frustrated teenagers find their voice. We help teenagers feel good about who they are.  The difference between Is This MyStory and other personal development or study skills courses is that we help teenagers understand the link between learning and self-esteem. Is This MyStory helps young adults develop self confidence and improve their literacy skills.

 

How often have you read a book, attended a workshop or listened to a speaker who inspired change, only to discover within a few months, you had returned to old habits? You may have attended a study skills class or revision lecture which helped initially, but then soon found your motivation waning.

Did you ask why?

The thing is, learning is a progressive experience. One step leads to another and, just as we walk in order to reach a particular destination, learning needs to lead somewhere. The key is recognising where. Many study skills, motivational or relaxation courses offer insight into new ways of thinking but they are ‘one off’ or short lived. Even though the learning is empowering at the time, it is not embedded into long term thought processes or behavioural patterns.

That is why Is This MyStory courses are embedded into everyday life. Is This MyStory workshops and seminars show students how to recognise the learning within life’s stories. We link critical, emotional and creative literacy skills to a generative project that encourages students to develop a critical, reflective and imaginative approach to life.  Students complete a learning rite. This is a literal and figurative journey, down a rabbit hole, along a learning path, toward a World of Expression. It is here students recognise their own voice and learn how to communicate effectively (with themselves and with others). This generates confidence.

The inspiring feature of an Is This MyStory project is that it is real and ongoing. Once students have gathered the tools of critical, emotional and creative literacy, they have in their possession the imaginative attributes required to manage their future. They have the capacity to work independently and collaboratively. They are able to develop their own MyStory – a focused awareness that nestles comfortably within a larger social and emotional network. In choosing to ‘write my own story’ students choose to become lifelong learners who have the confidence, courage, creativity and compassion to take responsibility for themselves.

At the moment we offer interactive workshops and seminars throughout the Northern Beaches and North Shore. We will expand to other areas of Sydney as the year progresses. If your teenager is frustrated by a world that doesn’t seem to listen, if they are a sensitive, creative individual who feels as though they need to hide their feelings or, if they simply believe they can’t be themselves, perhaps they need a new story. A story they own. We can help teenagers develop the critical, emotional and creative literacy skills they need to write their own story – both literally and figuratively.

If you would like to know more please have a look at our Interactive Seminars & Workshop page. You may even like to contact Nicole to discuss your situation.

Welcome to a World of Expression

 

 

If you enjoyed reading this post you may like to subscribe to our newsletter or read Nicole’s book, Is This MyStory (available in full or as a four part series)

Are You Happy?

By

How often do you think, ‘I just need to finish this and then, I will be happy’? Perhaps friends, family or teachers remind you, ‘happiness is the reward for putting in the effort, working hard and achieving your goals’. But what about your current state of mind? How happy do you feel right now? Maybe your quest to achieve today, so you can be happy in the future, is the problem.




Shawn Achor in this TED video explains how raising positivity in our present can ‘turn on’ parts of the brain that help us function more efficiently and learn more effectively. Watch the video and see Achor using humour to illustrate why actively managing your thoughts can help you develop a positive mindset. The benefit of recognising the positive now, rather than believing happiness will result from achieving something in the future, is that you place yourself in a position to identify opportunities and create what you want to create.

Of course, happiness and positivity are not necessarily synonymous terms, but I will leave that post for another day. Watch the video and let me know what you think.

Welcome to a World of Expression

If you enjoyed this post you may want to subscribe to our Newsletter or read my book, Is This MyStory (available in full or as a 4 part series).

Live a Mindful Strengths based Narrative

What Happens When You're Mindfully Aware of Your Story? Mindfulness allows a person to access their stories - we see our personal narratives from an objective perspective. So imagine what happens … Read More

Free Mini Mindfulness Poster

Mindfulness practice gives you the tools to recognise your strengths. Download your free Mini Mindfulness Poster here 

Latest Blog Post

The events of 2020 have taken the world into uncharted territory. We are living through a historic … [Read More...]

Testimonials – Teachers

Nicole is an excellent strengths coach and workshop facilitator. I’ve had the pleasure of working with Nicole to develop my High School leadership … Read More

Testimonial – Teenagers

I feel as though my improved results in my mid-year exams in all subjects, not just English, are a direct result of your guidance and inspiration. One … Read More

Subscribe to our Newsletter