Is This MyStory

Be the author of your own life

Choose to Be The Author of Your Life

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • Home
  • About
  • Coaching
    • Strengths Coaching
    • Relationship Coaching
    • Coaching for Students
    • Coaching For Teachers – Strengthening Teacher’s Professional Practice and Wellbeing 
  • Workshops
    • Live Online Course – Practical use of Story in Personal & Professional Development
    • Training & Workshops
    • Strengths Workshop for Teachers
  • Education
    • Coaching For Teachers – Strengthening Teacher’s Professional Practice and Wellbeing 
    • Interactive Seminar – Introduction to Strengths in the Classroom
    • Strengths Workshop for Teachers
  • Corporate
  • Blog
  • Products
  • Links
  • FAQ
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact Us

Friendship; A Powerful Learning Tool

July 17, 2011 By Nicole Feledy

Catching up with friends is an energy boost for the head and heart. Our friends have the capacity to inspire, motivate and soothe because infused within the bonds of friendship is the recognition of shared experiences and complimentary beliefs. Since friends are the people we trust, we can relax in their company and enjoy the moment. It is within this mindful state that confidence, creativity and innovation flourish. Recently I was lucky enough to reconnect with an old school friend who I had not seen or spoken to for over 10 years. Over coffee we shared recent pasts, reminisced over shared histories and contemplated the future. We investigated ideas and examined social assumptions. In other words we chatted for hours, entertaining our hearts and invigorating our minds. The challenge for schools is to recognise and harness this form of energy.

Imagine learning the skills that will lay a foundational mindset which will enable you to accomplish whatever it is that you set out to accomplish. Too often when we are at school we forget that this potent energy force may be channelled equally into social and academic endeavours. The simplest and most tangible example which comes to mind is the ‘study group’. When conceived within a similar mindset to that of the corporate world’s ‘mastermind group’, the study group becomes a powerful vehicle for blending and creating critical thought processes.

Too often schools are viewed as institutions responsible for the dissemination of knowledge. Teachers teach, students learn and knowledge is restricted to what can be ‘remembered’ and regurgitated in a test. However, in reality schools should be the hub where young people gather the tools they need for their future. Today, content information is easily accessed by those who have the skills required to find it. More importantly, understanding or ‘knowledge’, is available to those who have developed the skills of critical analysis and critical thinking. Thus, it is not ‘knowledge’ which is the key, but ‘aptitude’. What must be remembered is that this is not a ‘new’ feature of 21st century living. Rather, it is a principle that has existed for a very, very long time.

This was made blaringly apparent to me when, stimulated after chatting with a friend, I reflected on my own school days. I realised that some classmates who did not ‘succeed’ in school, did succeed in life. Conversely, some who achieved at school have not achieved the same pre-eminence in the ‘real world’. Of course, some who were successful at school have achieved in life and some who struggled, have continued to struggle. The obvious message here is that ‘success’ or ‘failure’ at a school, in particularly the ability to perform in school examinations, does not provide a direct correlation to an individual’s ability to ‘perform’ in life. Rather, what does have an impact is ‘mindset’. Attributes such as creativity, flexibility and courage, when combined with qualities such as determination, persistence and critical thinking, merge to promote constructive thinking programmes. In other words those who have a proactive mindset are more likely to achieve what they set out to achieve than those who simply wait for opportunities to come to them.

Schools have the opportunity to help students develop these opportunistic thought processes because schools are places where friends gather, information is shared and ideas are generated. You may like to envisage a scholastic ‘coffee club’ or ‘study mastermind union’. In this case you will find yourself recognising that moments shared with friends are powerful moments and if you were to harness this energy imagine what you could achieve.

Filed Under: Learning Tagged With: friends, friendship a powerful learning tool, Learning

Friendship is a quest to belong

June 6, 2010 By Nicole Feledy

Belonging is a desired state, at least that is what we are led to believe. Certainly it is a significant aspect of teenage life. This fact is recognised by the NSW Board of Studies who has prescribed ‘Belonging’ as the Area of Study to be explored by all students of HSC English. Students are encouraged to consider the concept of Belonging from multiple perspectives while also identifying barriers to belonging and the choice ‘not to belong’. This is achieved through studying the stories of others, within fiction and non-fiction, poetry and images. Obviously it creates the potential for valuable reflective analysis. The challenge is to ensure it is relevant!

Arguably, belonging is a state of mind. It occurs when we identify commonalities, or aspire to ‘share’ with others. The degree to which we acknowledge a sense of belonging is often dependant on the strength and number of our perceived connections with others. Here is where it becomes tricky on the friendship wheel.

Friends are people we choose to share time with. We share with them our ideas, feelings, hopes and dreams. We rely on our friends to relieve boredom. Friends provide a place to be and a reason to be there.   We trust our friends to keep our secrets and bolster our spirits. As a result we often judge the strength of our friendship on the degree to which they mirror our own ideas and values. This has the potential to become complicated, particularly in our teenage years. What happens when we are not sure of ‘who’ we are? What if we project that unstable sense of self on to our friends? In other words, what if our own insecurities lead us to question if our ‘friends’ really value us?

It seems in order to be a ‘friend’, we need to be a friend to our self. Or, to return to the concept of belonging; when we feel as though we ‘belong’ in our own skin, we recognise and value the connections between our conscious, our unconscious, and our intrinsic values. At this time, we begin to accept our identity and are free to acknowledge our self worth. As a result we feel comfortable and secure. This allows us to accept others for who they are rather than who we expect them to be. In these cases we are universally, friendly and thus ‘belong’.

Interestingly the previous Area of Study was Journey. This study encouraged students to consider how the process of moving from one place to another, be it physically, emotionally or imaginatively, provides a vehicle for the discovery of fresh perspectives. And guess what the Area of Study was before ‘Journey’…. Yes, it was Perspectives.

Filed Under: Self Esteem Tagged With: belong, Belonging, friends

Nicole Shares Leadership Talents

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPG6tRrUC3I

Nicole Talks Connectedness

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d73blYYRu_U&list=PLxDaK7wIyw947k6hxvoPa4-DYMbgJZYNt&index=1

Is This MyStory – Guided Meditation

http://isthismystory.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/ITMSMeditation.mp3

Search

Blog Categories

  • Blog
  • Communication
  • Learning
  • Meditation and Mindfulness
  • Powerful stories
  • Products
  • Reading
  • Self Esteem
  • Strengths Based Parenting
  • Strengths Coaching
  • Student Engagement
  • Study Tips
  • Teaching
  • Technology
  • Writing

Live a Mindful Strengths based Narrative

What Happens When You're Mindfully Aware of Your Story? Mindfulness allows a person to access their stories - we see our personal narratives from an objective perspective. So imagine what happens … Read More

Free Mini Mindfulness Poster

Mindfulness practice gives you the tools to recognise your strengths. Download your free Mini Mindfulness Poster here 

Latest Blog Post

The events of 2020 have taken the world into uncharted territory. We are living through a historic … [Read More...]

Testimonials – Coaching & Workshops

I have to shout out a BIG THANK YOU for an amazing Strengths focused coaching session. Straight from the get-go I felt a warm connection with Nicole! … Read More

Testimonials – Teachers

Nicole is an excellent strengths coach and workshop facilitator. I’ve had the pleasure of working with Nicole to develop my High School leadership … Read More

Testimonial – Teenagers

I feel as though my improved results in my mid-year exams in all subjects, not just English, are a direct result of your guidance and inspiration. One … Read More

Subscribe to our Newsletter

Copyright © 2025 This Is MyTime PTY LTD