Is This MyStory

Be the author of your own life

Choose to Be The Author of Your Life

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • Home
  • About
  • Coaching
    • Strengths Coaching
    • Relationship Coaching
    • Coaching for Students
    • Coaching For Teachers – Strengthening Teacher’s Professional Practice and Wellbeing 
  • Workshops
    • Live Online Course – Practical use of Story in Personal & Professional Development
    • Training & Workshops
    • Strengths Workshop for Teachers
  • Education
    • Coaching For Teachers – Strengthening Teacher’s Professional Practice and Wellbeing 
    • Interactive Seminar – Introduction to Strengths in the Classroom
    • Strengths Workshop for Teachers
  • Corporate
  • Blog
  • Products
  • Links
  • FAQ
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact Us

Love to Learn or Learn to Love It

August 12, 2012 By Nicole Feledy

I  love to learn, yes I admit it, being in an active learning situation sends waves of wonder dancing through my consciousness. Like a jolt of pure energy it provides an invigorating buzz, motivating me to … well … learn more. How do you feel about learning?

It could be suggested that a person’s attitude toward learning is influenced by their experience of learning. Those who have had positive experiences of learning, those who are able to solve problems as a result of their learning and those for whom learning offers a recognizable reward, tend to view learning as a useful endeavor. Learning can be directly applied so it is valued. However, in different situations, the opposite may be the case. Learning may become meaningless and ‘boring’ because it is too far removed from a learners experience or it is a repetitive reproduction of someone else’s ideas.

From this perspective, one of the potentially devastating impacts of school is the numbing, or in some cases downright destruction of an individual’s love of learning. This demise may come from a number of sources. A love of learning may be murdered by peers who preach the mantra that learning is ‘uncool’. Perhaps worse, a love learning may be annihilated by apathy or destroyed by a belief that it is not worth the effort. In other words, if learning is perceived as irrelevant or difficult, it tends to drown in a grey sea of discontent.

Usually teachers are handed the responsibility for inspiring learning. They are expected to deliver content in a manner that will engage and motivate their students. Teachers are trained to address multiple learning styles and offer opportunities for the meaningful application of knowledge. Yet it it is equally important for the learner to accept responsibility for their learning. The old expression ‘you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink’ has some relevance here. Put simply, a learner’s mindset has an enormous impact on the learning situation. Learners who choose to learn, have a massive advantage over those who learn to avoid punishment or gain reward.

I believe I am constantly learning because I choose to be constantly learning. I want to learn simply for the sake of learning. As a result, every situation and every interaction becomes an opportunity to discover something new. The advantage of this mindset is that even if material is delivered in a manner I find confusing or boring, I can look beyond the emotion and find a fresh idea. So, next time you find yourself wondering if you can justify the time and effort it will take to acquire that new skill or thought, perhaps you could look beyond the immediate benefit (or lack thereof) to the wider implications. Learning is an adventure, it is a quest – it is life’s rite. So don’t allow others to take wonder of discovery from you. Take control of your learning and be responsibility for, and to, yourself.

Filed Under: Blog, Learning Tagged With: Learning, love to learn

Boys Behaving Badly; a Symptom of a Failing Education System

July 29, 2012 By Nicole Feledy

William Golding’s novel, The Lord of the Flies is a classic piece of literature that opens the door to profound discussion.  When introducing this novel to a class, I usually direct their attention toward current social practices and ask; Is a person born evil or is evil a learnt behaviour. In a scary twist of fate, each time I teach the novel, the media delivers a story about boys behaving badly. Last year it was the London riots. This year the story was closer to home. This year the papers shared the heart wrenching story of Thomas Kelly and Kieran Loveridge.

 It is not my intention to discuss the question of innate or learnt evilness here. Nor is this a comparison between the writings of Golding and modern society (although a post comparing Loveridge and the character of Jack begs to be written). Rather, I would like to explore comments made recently in the Sydney Morning Herald.

An article entitled, ‘Sydney’s Newest Sport – Beat Someone Senseless or Kill them for the Heck of It ‘ (chilling in itself) appeared in the SMH on pg 13 (interesting structural choice) on the 28/7/2012. In this article, Sydney’s Father Riley (founder of Youth Off  The Streets) was quoted as saying “I wish I’d gotten to this kid [Loveridge] sooner. All kids want is a connection. When you connect a kid you can turn them around”. In the same space, youth psychologist Michael Carr-Gregg speaks of seeing an increasing number of angry adolescent males. Carr-Gregg creates a picture of a youth who is “beset with rigid, inflexible thinking, has no respect for authority, little exposure to tradition or ritual and has few, if any skills in anger management.”

To my way of thinking, these comments reflect a failure in our schools. Father Riley and Carr-Gregg highlight the problems besetting an education system which is too rigid, too inflexible and too slow to offer meaningful change. The institution of education is reactive rather than adaptive. Instead of being proactive, it offers band aid solutions – medicine to treat the disease, rather than lifestyle innovations to prevent it from occurring.

I find people such as Father Riley and Carr-Gregg inspirational. They are actively working towards improving the lives of teenagers in a practical sense. Even though individuals such as Father Riley and Carr-Gregg only reach the students they connect with, their ideas can, by proxy, reach many more. This is where teachers and schools may make a difference.

As a teacher, forged in the kiln of the classroom, I and many others who share a similar vision want to enact change. But we need those who  form policies, to listen. Rather than being bogged down by consumerist debates regarding funding, class sizes, facilities and who has power in a school (yes of course these are important topics, but they are not the places to find  preventive solutions to mindset problems) we need to change what and how kids are taught. Teachers need to be mentors who are connected to their students. To achieve this level of connectiveness, teachers need to be intuitive, empathic and alert. They need the space to be creative and the time to develop their own sense of well being, so that they may support their students. Students require this support in order to develop a sense of identity and, so that they may experience a sense of security within a community.

Of course, it is not enough to talk about developing student’s self esteem and personal responsibility. Action needs to be taken. I believe the key is creative, critical literacy. Being able to wield the skills of creative, critical literacy opens the door to a World of Expression. When a person believes their voice will be heard, they are more likely to feel secure in their identity.

How does a person uncover this key? By actively making a choice to travel the learning path. When a person perceives learning as FUN (functional, universal and necessary) they are more likely to accept learning as a valuable lifelong process. If a person identifies themselves as a Learner, they have access to tools which can help them LEAF through life’s pages. In other words they can draw upon the skills required live life in a loving, enthusiastic, aware and flexible manner.

You may be wondering how a person can develop this mindset for learning. I believe a person develops a learning mindset when they feel as though their learning is relevant. Learners learn best when they are supported and connected. In other words, when they feel centred and balanced. This is why I believe practices such as meditation and mindfulness should be core components in school curriculums. We should be teaching young people how to connect with themselves so that they may appreciate outer connections to community.

This is what I plan to do. I am determined to create a learning environment which offers young adults a place to learn about themselves and their place within a wider eco/social system; a mindfully, creative meditative way of living

Perhaps, if Loveridge had a different school experience, an experience that met him where he was and walked beside him as he developed a secure sense of self awareness and community connectivity, he may have found different ways to feel as though he mattered.

What do you think? Can schools become a place of learning rather than an institution of education?

Welcome to a World of Expression.

Filed Under: Blog, Self Esteem, Teaching Tagged With: Boys Behaving Badly, is a person born evil

Searching for an Ah Ha Moment

July 17, 2012 By Nicole Feledy

Searching for an ah ha moment?  Try walking outside or washing your hands. Have you ever stopped to wonder where a particular thought came from? Can you recall a time when you experienced one of those beautiful ‘ah ha’ moments, a situation where answers seem to slide with synchronistic ease into an easily recognisable pattern? What were you doing at the time?

 Many of my dazzling ‘ah ha’ moments arrive when I am in the bathroom surrounded by water. It doesn’t seem to matter if my whole body  is submerged (in the shower) or if I am simply running water over my hands, either way, the physical experience of water upon skin seems to provide a ‘free time’ moment where my mind can play. These times of respite are extremely valuable because they enable creative endeavours. An example may help illustrate the point.

Recently a colleague and I were working on a project. She is a highly professional, organised and efficient teacher. I am a story teller who delights in creating something tangible from the intangible.  Together, we were destined to form a productive team. However, our best collaborative work was achieved, separately. Rather than solving problems during meetings, our ah ha moments occurred afterwards. At the conclusion of each meeting we opened the door, went to our respective staff rooms and then to the bathroom before going to class (teachers tend to maintain rigorous schedules). Much to our amusement, we both experienced flashes of insight while in this ‘wash phase’ of our respective schedules. Afterwards, in some sort of serendipitous twist of fate, we ‘bumped’ into each other on the way to class. Whilst in transit, we eagerly swapped fresh strategies. This pattern repeated itself on three separate occassions and despite a slightly unconventional collaborative effort, our project was successful with minimal fuss and only an hour and a half of actual ‘meeting’ time.

Now, I realise it may not be practical to wash each time a problem deposits a sticky mass on your hands. Similarly, close proximity to water may not be everyone’s ‘ah ha’ catalyst. However, it is possible to utilise the underlying theory to inspire your own ah ha moment. Put simply, having a shower or washing your hands may cleanse the mind as much as the body. These physical experiences provide the space to be mindful since the action of washing offers a break from the endless chatter of your self-talk. This gap allows a place for new ideas to form because you are mindfully aware of your actions, rather than over deliberating the thoughts that preceded them. In other words, short ‘non-thought moments’ or ‘self chatter pauses’, offer time to experience a mental ‘refresh’.

These ‘mental refresh’ moments have been studied by many – you may like to view this clip where Dr Adam Fraser explains the concepts of The Third Space. Another intriguing example may be found in Dr Karl’s Great Moments in Science – Can walking through a doorway make you forget? During this episode, Dr Karl provides a reason for room to room forgetfulness. He refers to the event-horizon model to suggest our brain processes information in single units and that the aspect on which we we are concentrating, gains the most attention. However, walking through a doorway moves us from one environment into another, and this may cause a memory lapse. This memory lapse, according to Dr Karl, occurs because our brain recognises the need to be attentive to potential threats in the new environment.

So, next time you find yourself over-thinking a problem, perhaps you could try walking out of the room, leaving the old solutions behind. Remember the ‘magic moment’ is the space ‘in-between’. This is the moment you pause your self-talk and allow yourself to hear those intuitive whispers. Perhaps then you will receive your own fresh, ah ha moment.

Welcome to a World of Expression.

Filed Under: Blog, Study Tips Tagged With: ah ha moment, ah ha moments, welcome to a world of expression

Learning, Stories and Mindset

July 8, 2012 By Nicole Feledy

It felt like hitting the jackpot. Nestled within the pages of Saturday’s paper were two glittering gems; an article about the positive impact of sports psychology and an article about the positive impact of stories.

 

  Bang, pop, sparkle!

  There they were.

  The theories underpinning my work; learning, stories and mindset, closely       allied. 

 

 Now I know these ideas are well documented and that they’ve been supported by vast tomes of  research. I also know they’ve been mentioned in popular media before, but to find them side by side in the Sydney Morning Herald seemed a powerful portent. Then, as to confirm intuition, a friend’s facebook post gave further reason to smile – an image of a young girl carrying a poster saying “Children need to be taught how to think, not what to think”.

My heart cart wheeled with childlike exuberance. 

Is This MyStory was validated in triplicate today.

Perhaps I should take a couple of steps back to explain. My book, Is This MyStory gathers these three concepts; learning to learn, gaining greater awareness through narrative and using strategies for targeted mindfulness, then bundles them together in a practical framework. Quite literally, I believe we can develop empathy and self awareness through the mindful appreciation of stories.

An aware state of mind allows us to simultaneously drift into those ah ha moments while still being actively, in the present. This I believe, is one of the greatest gifts of meditation. Meditation provides the mind training and intellectual space to really listen, feel and see. Or, to phrase it in a more personal  way, meditation helped me separate the voice of intuition from the chatter of self talk. 

Is This MyStory aims to promote creative and critical literacy. It helps young people develop their own voice. I believe when young people feel as though they have a voice, and are encouraged to use it, they begin to understand learning is a personal journey undertaken for its intrinsic value. Or to put it simply, young people learn it is their choice to learn. To date, my research has been based on what I have read and what I have observed in the classroom. I have not established control groups nor codified data. However, those who have spent time in more formal research pursuits confirm what my reality shows – learning, stories and mindset are closely allied.

So, to circle back to the beginning – this synchronistic appearance of two articles and a photo may suggest that society will soon (if not already) recognise why learning institutions need to change.

Schools need to offer students the opportunity to learn how to relax, how to show empathy, how to be flexible and how to develop creative problem solving skills. Some of the strategies we can use to achieve this are mindfulness, meditation and storytelling.

 

Welcome to a World of Expression.  

 

P.S If you are interested, these are the articles I was refering to;

1) ‘All Psyched Up’ , Amanda Hooton, The Good Weekend, SMH 7/7/2012 

2) ‘Character Building’, Megan Johnston, Spectrum, SMH 7/7/2012

 

Filed Under: Blog, Reading, Self Esteem Tagged With: learning stories and mindset

The Teacher Who Empowered the Writer

June 30, 2012 By Nicole Feledy

The sun slips beyond the hills sending golden fingers of light to dance gracefully across the water. I am home. This is a place of contentment but not a space for rest, the next chapter waits beneath the keyboard. Instead of being a teacher who writes I am now a writer who teaches. I am a writer. Wow, those words are empowering! I am a writer…

 Yet equally, I am a teacher and I realise the words, I am a teacher, are just as empowering. In fact I believe it was ‘the teacher’ who empowered ‘the writer’. So as I look forward, I also glance back to appreciate the past. Not surprisingly, these pages settle into a narrative pattern.

I recognise the years devoted to teaching and mentoring my International students were the orientation stage of my quest. It was during this time I realised that even though I loved teaching, it was the mentoring and welfare aspects of my role that offered a sense of ‘true’ purpose. Together, we (my students and I) discovered that the processes involved in learning English, could become the foundation for a greater understanding of social systems and cultural alertness.

Then in 2008 came the initiating event that was to alter my teaching focus forever – College 8. For the first time in ten years I was teaching local students – local students who were only thirteen years old. This was a new world of hormonal confusion and identity recognition – for the girls and myself. As the year progressed a fresh path emerged and this glimmering trail coaxed me forward in a new direction. Together, we discovered that the processes involved in learning English offered the opportunity to view stories as personal access points. These doors provided entry to an illuminated track that led toward greater recognition of self.

By 2009 a complication was revealed. College 8 became College 9, a new College 8 was added to my class list and I was introduced to the rambunctious, pragmatic sensitivity of Grammar 10.  As I shared the learning space with 16 year old boys and witnessed men struggling to emerge from under a boy’s shadow I realised I had reached an impasse. Change had arrived and decisions needed to be made. Who was I? What did I stand for? What was I going to teach? Pushing forward with Grammar 10 I saw what could be taught. I recognised that English lessons could be more than literature appreciation or essay writing; they could prepare students for a life (and a critical literacy) beyond the school gates.

So by 2010 I reached a resolution. Drawing upon the experience of previous years I began to write. I started to blog and dove deeper into the research surrounding learning styles and cognitive processing. By this point, my class list included Grammar 7; twelve year old boys who were a shifting mass of fearful bravado. College 8 became College 9, College 9 became College 10 and Grammar 10 rolled into Standard 11. The stage was set, my objective clear. I was an English teacher who wanted more than academic success for her students. I wanted my students to recognise their emotions, identify their thoughts and channel them towards clear objectives. Together we would use language and stories to prepare for a successful, critically aware, mindfully chosen, life.

2011 presented the opportunity for evaluation. I watched the students fulfil their goals. I saw boys and girls become young men and women. I finished writing Is This MyStory and recognised how my personal narrative had been shaped by the students I  taught. This is why their names grace the cover of my book. The design was a conscious way of honouring my student’s legacy – the inspiration they provided and the lessons they taught.

Although ‘you can’t judge a book by its cover’, in reality most of us do. So when you look at the cover of Is This MyStory, what do you see? I see hope. I see bright individuals who have made a conscious decision to be the author of their own life. I see confident, courageous, creative and compassionate young men and women. I see my students.

As a writer, I acknowledge the power of a teacher.

Filed Under: Blog, Teaching, Writing

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • …
  • 11
  • 12
  • 13
  • 14
  • 15
  • …
  • 25
  • Next Page »

Nicole Shares Leadership Talents

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPG6tRrUC3I

Nicole Talks Connectedness

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d73blYYRu_U&list=PLxDaK7wIyw947k6hxvoPa4-DYMbgJZYNt&index=1

Is This MyStory – Guided Meditation

http://isthismystory.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/ITMSMeditation.mp3

Search

Blog Categories

  • Blog
  • Communication
  • Learning
  • Meditation and Mindfulness
  • Powerful stories
  • Products
  • Reading
  • Self Esteem
  • Strengths Based Parenting
  • Strengths Coaching
  • Student Engagement
  • Study Tips
  • Teaching
  • Technology
  • Writing

Live a Mindful Strengths based Narrative

What Happens When You're Mindfully Aware of Your Story? Mindfulness allows a person to access their stories - we see our personal narratives from an objective perspective. So imagine what happens … Read More

Free Mini Mindfulness Poster

Mindfulness practice gives you the tools to recognise your strengths. Download your free Mini Mindfulness Poster here 

Latest Blog Post

The events of 2020 have taken the world into uncharted territory. We are living through a historic … [Read More...]

Testimonials – Coaching & Workshops

I have to shout out a BIG THANK YOU for an amazing Strengths focused coaching session. Straight from the get-go I felt a warm connection with Nicole! … Read More

Testimonials – Teachers

Nicole is an excellent strengths coach and workshop facilitator. I’ve had the pleasure of working with Nicole to develop my High School leadership … Read More

Testimonial – Teenagers

I feel as though my improved results in my mid-year exams in all subjects, not just English, are a direct result of your guidance and inspiration. One … Read More

Subscribe to our Newsletter

Copyright © 2025 This Is MyTime PTY LTD