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Stop Bullying

September 17, 2013 By Nicole Feledy

Yet another teen death, Rebecca Ann Sedwick was the tragic victim of on-line bullying. Like an insidious disease that defies treatment, on-line bullying is stealing the childhood of our children.

 Bullying stinks, its hurtful, cowardly and has devastating consequences for  all involved. As today’s article in the SMH shows, our kids need help – so do  their parents. Despite awareness campaigns and parental determination to  protect children, bullies find them. The rapid pace of technological change  has fuelled social media growth and parents, schools and government  can’t  keep up. We need more than treatments. We need to arm  our kids so they  can protect themselves. I have blogged about this before. We need to give  our children the skills, tools and mind strength to prevent the effects of  bullying behaviour.

 

How?

By helping children recognise who they are, where they are and where they want to go. This is what workshops such as our MyStory Mind help teenagers learn – the skills that schools don’t have time to teach. Our kids need to learn how to recognise their emotions and how to manage them. They need to learn how to distinguish their own thoughts from the thoughts of others and they need to uncover their own internal strengths.

Here’s something that many adults tend to forget or overlook – the internal world of a teenager is as real as the external one. I’ll repeat that because it’s important. The internal world of a teenager is as real as the external one. It is within this internal realm that teenagers (in fact most of us) are most vulnerable because it is the one we don’t see. It is the space of thoughts and emotions and these thoughts and emotions have the power to uplift and the power to tear down.

But there is good news. 

We can teach our children how to recognise internal strength and generate their own self esteem. We can help them gather the tools to thrive in their internal world. The benefit of thriving internally, is that the results are amplified in the external world. Put at its most basic, positive people attract positive people, confident people inspire confidence and success attracts success.

How will you help the teenagers in your life become the self aware, self responsible and proactive person that lives the life they dream of?

Welcome to a World of Expression
You can learn more about our workshops here
You can get your copy of Nicole’s e-book here  and paperback here (or for  a Limited First Edition contact Nicole)

Filed Under: Blog, Self Esteem Tagged With: prevent bullying, stop bullying, vaccinate against bullying

Just Tell Me What to Do

June 26, 2013 By Nicole Feledy

Some students don’t want autonomy. They don’t want the space to be creative, they don’t want to direct their own learning and they certainly don’t want make their own decisions. Some students simply want to be given the required information.

  

     Does that mean we should go back to sage on the stage instruction?

     

     Should we ditch project based learning?

     

 

No, of course not. But we do need to understand ‘who’ students are, ‘where’ they are and then provide the tools for learning.

True, the internet is littered with stories about teenagers discovering learning, finding new ways to use technology and developing their own start ups, but few will take this kind of initiative.

We could bemoan the lack of motivation and point to the problems which promote passive learning. We could blame helicopter parents, over crowded curriculums and high stakes testing.

Or, we could just teach. 

In other words, we can make the process of learning visible. We can help our students rise above environmental, political and social factors to discover intrinsic motivation and creative inspiration.  We can give students confidence in their ability to learn.

How?

Imagine how you’d feel opening a door that led to a dark, unfamiliar room. Perhaps you’d stand at the threshold waiting for someone else to go first. Maybe you’d enter the room slowly; anxiously feeling your way, expecting to bump into obstacles. You may even refuse to enter.

Now imagine being given a torch. How would your process through the room change?

Perhaps this small radiant beam would entice you to step into the unknown, its brightness offering a sense of security. Maybe the light would reassure you; it could help you see where you were going and assess the risk.

This is what we need to give our students. A guiding light that illuminates the path through unfamiliar learning situations. If a student believes they have the tools necessary to complete a task, they are more likely to approach a challenge with a sense of anticipation, rather than one of dread … or boredom. At this point I should remind you, my analogy called for a torch not a flood light – perhaps you can imagine why? (After all this post is as much about modelling as it is about encouraging the development of intrinsic learning).

I believe it is important to recognise the impact student’s self perception. Sometimes we need to teach engagement because students haven’t seen they have the skills to perform a task – or they lack confidence in their ability to learn. We need to provide base tools before we can expect intrinsic motivation or creative inspiration. We need to model and offer opportunities for students to practice the skills of inquiry, problem solving and critical thinking. Why? Because when we teach how to learn, we give students the tools for flexible thinking. This feeds confident learning, which boosts courageous learning and encourages students to make their own choices. I guess what I’m trying to say is self motivation, as with any skill, has a more progressive step by step learning path than we may perceive.

So, we need to offer opportunities for creative inspiration. Yes …  we need to offer. In other words we, as teachers, need to provide the space for students to feel confident enough to explore, experiment and build on their own.

Anyone who has met me, knows I believe very strongly in wellbeing, choice and freedom. I am passionate about self-direct learning. However, I am also realistic enough to know many students do not like being given a problem and told, “solve it”. Most students – actually, if we’re being honest, most of us, like some structure, a few parameters, a little direction. We like to know what is expected of us and that we can access what we need to complete the task. We don’t like feeling as though we are wasting our time, or our energy. We are motivated by accomplishment.

So, next time a students says to you “just tell me what I have to do” instead of decrying the coddled state of today’s teens, perhaps you could hand them a torch and say “lets find out together.”

Welcome to a World of Expression
Similar post:We Don’t Need no Education
If you enjoyed reading this post you may like to subscribe to our newsletter or read Nicole’s book,Is This MyStory.

Filed Under: Blog, Learning, Teaching Tagged With: Just tell me what to do, student intrinsic motivation, student motivation, students want information, teach motivation

What Motivates Students?

May 19, 2013 By Nicole Feledy

What motivates you? Is it money, praise or the opportunity to prove you’re better than than the next person? Or, is it something else? Is it an elusive determination to discover more. 

 In his TED talk What Makes Us Feel Good About Our Work, Dan Ariely  explores the concept of motivation. Although he focuses on the labour  market his results have specific relevance to education and learning. He  suggests money isn’t always the prime motivator. Rather, Ariely says  progress and a sense of accomplishment may be more encouraging. 

 I think he has a point.

 As a teacher I have seen meaningless tasks, tasks that lack an authentic  audience, lead to glazed eyes and fidgeting fingers . The ensuing  boredom  provokes a search for something more ‘entertaining’, something that infers challenge. Similarly a lack of recognition often sends students hunting for more attention – any attention. 

As his presentation concludes Ariely proposes, ‘in a knowledge economy, meaning is more important than efficiency’. He explains, motivation is not born of payment and empty praise, but of factors such as “meaning, creation, challenge, ownership, identity and pride”. 

I believe him.

I have seen the crestfallen looks of students who laboured faithfully over a particular piece of work, only to be given a number on a page, a number suggesting they haven’t done enough. Although some strive to ‘make the grade’. Many don’t. They become angry, frustrated and bitterly disappointed. They feel as though their efforts have been wasted. 

Our students need more than red scratches on a piece of paper. They deserve more than abstract numbers to signal success. They require progress.

We can offer authentic learning experiences. We can set tasks that have real world application. We can provide opportunities to apply knowledge and solve problems – challenges which are relevant to students’ experience.

We can give our students a chance to feel motivated. 

If you watch the clip, here’s a challenge. Can you think of a way to use these ideas to increase your own motivation? In a sense I’m asking you to manage your own motivational mindset.

 

Welcome to a World of Expression

 

If you enjoyed reading this post you may like to read Nicole’s book, Is This MyStory

Filed Under: Blog, Learning Tagged With: Dan Ariely relevance to education, give students a chance to feel motivated, motivate students, What motivates, What motivates students

Why Does Everything in English Have to Be a Metaphor For Something?

May 10, 2013 By Nicole Feledy

“Why does everything in English have to be a metaphor for something? Why can’t a fence be just a fence”  This question, proposed by a somewhat frustrated student, prompted the following discussion.

  Student 1 – Why does everything in English have to be a metaphor for                            something? Why can’t a fence be just a fence. 

  Student 2 – Because the fence represents the character’s feelings of being                      trapped.

  Student 1 – Or is it just a fence.

  Student 3 – I think it’s just a fence.

  Student 2 – It is definitely not just a fence.

 Student 4 – The fence is just a fence, but it also has a deeper meaning than you’ll ever know.

 Student 5 – Yeah, but do we really care about this deeper meaning of the fence?

 Student 6 – Yes of course. An A-range student always cares about the deeper meaning of objects.

 Student 7 – I’ll tell (teacher’s name) where he can put that deeper meaning of a fence!

 

I found this exchange incredibly encouraging. Here was a group of students actively thinking about their learning. They were not sitting in class dutifully absorbing material presented by a teacher; they were reflecting and evaluating.These students were engaged in thoughtful dialogue. They were asking questions and proposing answers. 

These seven students were laying the foundations for critical evaluation. 

I believe this is one of those ‘catch them doing something good’ moments that requires recognition and praise. We need to acknowledge the learning within exchanges such as this so our students can. 

So, congratulations girls and boys – you have witnessed, participated and jumped a figurative fence.

 

Welcome to a World of Expression

 

Similar Posts: Critical Literacy: A Learning Rite, Is This Relevant

 

If you enjoyed this post you may like to subscribe to our newsletter of read Nicole’s book, Is This MyStory (available in full or as a four part series)

 

 

Filed Under: Blog, Learning Tagged With: metaphor in English, Why can't a fence be just a fence, Why does everything in English have to be a metaphor

Bullying Frightens Me

April 22, 2013 By Nicole Feledy

Bullying frightens me – which of course is the point. A bully wants their victim to feel powerless and alone. But that’s not the only reason I’m scared. I’m terrified by the misuse of the verb. What happens when a word such as bullying is overused? 

 

 I know I need to tread lightly here – very, very lightly. So I say this in all  sincerity, bullying is dangerous. Every incident must be taken seriously.  Each report of bullying must be investigated. Which is why I worry. I worry  when people ‘cry wolf’. What happens if the label becomes so misused it  loses its impact? 

 What happens if innocent people become the victims of reverse bullying?

 

Sometimes we need to ask; is adult claiming to be bullied expressing anger after being reprimanded for doing a poor job. Is the child claiming to be bullied expressing jealousy after an argument among friends. Is the boy claiming to be bullied seeking revenge because ‘his’ girl choose someone else. Is the girl claiming to be bullied jealous because ‘her’ part in the school play went to another. 

Maybe not. 

As I said, each cry for help must be addressed. No one should be left feeling isolated, scared or misunderstood. 

Nevertheless, I wonder how often a behaviour is assigned a label before it is understood. Do some people choose the bullying label because it will generate the most attention. Worse, do some people claim to be bullied so someone else gets into trouble. 

Perhaps we rely to much on labelling. 

I wonder what would happen if we devoted more time to helping people understand their behaviour. Better yet, what if we helped people recognise the emotions and thoughts underneath behaviour?  Maybe we could address causes of behaviour rather than treating symptoms. 

Perhaps we could stop labelling and start caring for people as individuals.

 

Welcome to a World of Expression

 

Similar posts: Lost; A Sense of Community

 

 

If you enjoyed reading this post you may like to subscribe to our newsletter of read Nicole’s book, Is This MyStory (available in full or as a four part series)

 

 

Filed Under: Blog, Self Esteem Tagged With: bullying, Bullying frightens me, bullying is dangerous, bullying label

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